[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

howEver it IS we reTURN to the WAter's EDGE
where the FERry grieves DOWN by the PIER head,
| | we DO what we ALways DID | | and GET on BOARD.
| | the CIty drifts OUT of REACH. | | a HUGE | | SILvery BIRD,
| | a KISS on the LIP of the WIND, | | FOLlows our SHIP.
| | THIS is WHERE we were YOUNG, | | the PLACE no MAP
or HERitage GUIDE can reVEAL.| | ONly an X on a WAVE
marks the SPOT, | | the FLOWers of LITter a GRAVE
for our RUined LOVES, | | UNborn CHILdren, | | GHOSTS.
we look BACK at the SKYline, | | WONdering WHAT we LOST
in the HIDden STREETS, | | in the RENTed ROOMS,
| | no MORE than PUNTers NOW in a TOURist BOOM.
| | aBOVE our HEADS the GULLS cry YEAH | | YEAH | | YEAH.
| | FRETS of LIGHT on the RIver. | |TEARful AIR.


While the slant rhymes work for me - I think full rhymes in couplets are generally too heavy-handed for my taste - the meter relies heavily on caesuras - mostly successfully I think - to make this anapestic. Accept the caesuras a unstressed syllables, but there are still a fair number of iambic subs.

where the FERry GRIEVES | | DOWN by the PIER head, (alt. scan)

'reveal' in L7 can also be pronounced: re-VE-al

Just one take.


[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited May 11, 2007).]