[Henry Quince]

This is Ermintrude using Henry’s account. He doesn’t have any sexy pics of himself in athletic action — though his mustache is pretty sexy — so he thought I might like to post from my “Lewd Luge Poetess” series. Can I do that? Or will a Moderatress/trix pounce to apply virtual fig leaves?

I’m Ermintrude the Olympic nude,
a poetess in a state of undress —
one of those dames in the Winter Games,
a competitoress in less and less,
till, bare on the piste as a finalist,
my bosoms huge on Torino’s Luge,
I shiver, but show it all with finesse!

[Julie Steiner]

"Thank you, Carol," Julie said,
blushing fifteen shades of red.
Jeepers creepers, Julie thought,
wondering, What have I wrought?

"Thank you, Bugsy," Julie wrote,
gasping through her gagging throat.
(Maybe it was only snorting.
Noisy business, this cohorting.)

"Thank you, Michael," Julie typed,
tears of mirth discreetly wiped.
"Hope you haven't placed your bets!
I stay veiled, as do my threats."

"Thank you, Brian," Julie posted,
after Emily had coasted.
("Note to self," she paused to write,
"Looks like black's this season's white.")

"Thank you, Marion," came next
in the course of Julie's text.
"If you're not chionophilic*,
watching Idol sounds idyllic."

"Henry Quince, merci," wrote Julie,
"Louis Quinze was speaking truly
of the Olympic centrifuge:
Aprés moi, l'idée luge.***

Julie Stoner

----------------------------
FOOTNOTES:
----------------------------
*chionophilic = fond of snow***

**"After me, the concept of a Spandex-clad person hurtling blindly down a bobsled run while people ring cowbells--both for no apparent purpose."

***Handy tip! If you suspect that your verse may be rhyme-driven, ask yourself this question: "Am I coining new words for line-end positions?"
----------------------------

[Julie Steiner]

Well, that'll teach me to play hooky from Eratosphere for a few days. Okay, you naughty children, here's the innocent little ditty I was PLANNING to post to commemorate the Winter Olympics.


When my daughter walks around,
her knuckles nearly knock the ground.
"Stand up straighter!" I berate her.
(Hmmm. She'd make a fine speed-skater.)


Since this looks meaner-spirited than it is, I got the kid's permission to post this. She thought it was mildly funny, but wanted me to clarify that she only slouches a little bit.

Julie Stoner



[This message has been edited by Julie Stoner (edited February 17, 2006).]

[Lightning Bug]

Director's Instructions

Be sure whenever figure skaters raise
a leg, you're quick to do a subtle phase
to forward cam - the rearward cam'll show
a lengthy shot of Flying Cameltoe.

---------
not Bugsy

.


[This message has been edited by Lightning Bug (edited February 17, 2006).]

[nyctom]

Actually dear Em is executing a spiral, not a Flying Camel. Trust me, the long program of Woman's Figure Skating is one of the Gay Super Bowls, and I for one am all aquiver with anticipation for tonight's programme extraordinaire.

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Tom

Depending on the POV, Bugsy could be right.

He did state, "Cameltoe".

I thought this was supposed to be a photo exercise, not a poetic one?

[Lightning Bug]

Jerry,

Sorry to correct you, but my post that probably incorrectly mentions the Flying Camel is to Emmy's picture post via Brian.

And as for the post about Flying Cameltoe, that is clearly signed "not Bugsy".

---------
Is Bugsy

.

[Michael Cantor]

Actually, the skater in Brian's photo is Robert McNamara (note the slicked-back, center-parted hair) - in drag - executing a perfect Flying Camelot.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited February 23, 2006).]

[Jerry Glenn Hartwig]

Is Bugsy

My humble apologies. In my elder years I'm having difficulty keeping the Bugsys separated from the non-Bugsys. I've heard of people having multiple personality disorders (Swagman's laughing at me from the back of my mind) but I've never heard of a User Name having the same difficulty. Fortunately, Alex has provided a cure for your User Name's dysfunction:

Tell the other disorders to register for their own accounts.

It's even free *grin*