[Julie Steiner]

Camera Shy

In my photos, it appears
that I'm mostly neck and ears.
In real life, I know I've got 'em,
but I hardly ever spot 'em!

And why must licenses depict us
smilin' in a sort of rictus,
ripe for casketin' and hearsin'?
We're much livelier in person!

Julie Stoner

[Robert Meyer]

A mop-top 'do' to shade my brain
(I look a bit like Harrison)
and to my left, the trusty cane,
in case I have to (kind of) run;
my speech is slurred like from champagne.


[This message has been edited by Robert Meyer (edited July 03, 2006).]

[Janet Kenny]

Motto
Never wear anything that's better looking than you are.

I once scrubbed up well for the stage,
but now I am looking my age.
If you call in the morning
you’d better give warning
or else you will suffer my rage.
My clothes are more modest than me.
I like them to let me feel free.
Though small, a fast walker
(and quite a fast talker),
I’ll appear for a moderate fee.

[Spindleshanks]

My wife's idea of heaven:
The Fonz at sixty seven.

[Larry Powers]

Occasionally sexy, though my hair
is thin, on top, and broken spider-veins
tattoo my bulbous nose. My dark-eyed glare
has frightened strangers' children, which explains
the fact that I don't socialize, too much,
with parents. Not too heavy, though my gut
does stick out, some. My ass has fallen such
that it no longer calls to stags in rut.
I dress like James Arness, who played a creature
from outer space. My countenance reveals
a confluence of gene pools. My best feature,
however, is the light that face conceals.

[Julie Steiner]

Updated New Yorker Caption

No one knew you were a dog
Before those JPEGs on your blog.

[Peter Coghill]

Like Lurch without the tux
alot of doors I duck

[Roger Slater]

Julie, that's very good.

[Terese Coe]

Why not move on to describing people we see on the street?


He was never too rich or too slender
And had never been quite the right gender,
But gained the same stature
As Margaret Thatcher
By mixing himself in a blender.