[Rose Kelleher]

Sorry, Carol, for arguing with you about the wrong thing. I saw the talk about "gentling" and got it muddled in my mind with your comment about L15. Speaking of which (nice segue, eh? I vote to leave as is. So what if a syllable's been let go...it encourages a slight pause, which seems fitting there.

[Tim Murphy]

I know the authors of course, from the return addys on the emails, and I would not have identified this as being from this author, Reeser maybe. Alan and I read this closely aboard the boat. It lacks the shape shifting quality of her usual short, het met lines, and it lacks the charge she so often brings to her zany, zenni images. But I am pleased to see her extending herself into so regular a tetrameter, and I think it is only a matter of time before she has many more arrows in her quiver, the most important of which is to be able to deploy strict form when the matter calls for it.

[Maggie Porter]

I'm afraid this poem is not very good. All the usual poetic things in there (save for panning for gold).

This is, gasp, a greeting card effort.

My personal apologies to the author.

[Rhina P. Espaillat]

I'm afraid "gasp" as an expression of fey dismay is very badly overused. It comes from cartoons, originally.

[Janet Kenny]

Maggie,
Mastery lies, not in novelty, but in skill. The diatonic scale lives for "Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer" and Chopin. The real skill is being able to tell them apart.
Janet

[MEHope]

Maggie,

Gasp!!

To translate: If you don't like it, you don't know what you're talking about.

Ka Pow!

Sometimes poems are ironed to death by form; as much music is lost by too much attention as not enough.

Bang!

[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

MEHope--

Huh!?

Maggie, I believe, was criticizing the content and metaphors, not the form.

A poem about panning for gold can be done well or badly, in formal verse or free, and given the incredible number of words which rhyme with gold, I think the ironing complaint is pretty silly. Especially since you can put any word you like in the middle of a line and not rhyme on it too.

This is a well done poem that plays against the standard symbolism of autumn, and I like it in particular for that.

[Maggie Porter]

No, I must really gasp. Because, unbeknownst to you I am not someone very well liked here at the Able Muse except by a few people who shall remain nameless. When I gasp, I am saying, "Oh, here it comes Meg. They'll be after you for disagreeing with the consensus."

I should be used to that by now but in reality, I never really will be.

And by the way, I've messaged you Rhina and I hope you take the time to hear what I have to say in the context of your comments and my own. I hate to bother you but I can see that you are somewhat dismayed regarding the level of my criticisms.

[wendy v]

I hate to pop this one back up, but wanted to quickly thank all those who commented to it. Special thanks to Mark who articulated my deeper intentions so clearly I'd begun to wonder if he'd written the poem. I was also delighted by the interpretations proffered by Janet, Carol, David, Henry, Kevin, and others. All reported various readings that I'd hoped were peripherally available in this poem, and it's really good to know they were visible to some. Because I do tend to write in a kind of weird mist, it's always really helpful to know what people are seeing and what's being obscured. Many thanks to Tonia, Chris, Michael, Margaret, Oliver, Robt, Terese, Henry, Rose, David, Tim, and of course Rhina for good words, smart suggestions, and such honest replies.

I also feel I should confess that this poem did see print this year. I hadn't seen where only-unpublished-poems need apply, but a couple of days ago I heard someone say they hadn't submitted because their better poems had already been published this year. Ever since, I've been feeling a need to come clean on this. I apologize if I've violated an unspoken rule, or the spirit of the event.

I'm also horrified to report that L15, which gave some of you metrical/musical difficulties, read in an earlier draft,

Breathe in, it says, and let go of.


I know. I am ashamed.

Thanks again to the whole lot of you for all the attention paid to this. Your thoughts and comments are appreciated more than you know.

wendy