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Unread 10-17-2008, 08:13 AM
Mary Meriam's Avatar
Mary Meriam Mary Meriam is offline
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Location: usa
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Yesterday, a haiku popped in my head when I first woke up, and then another one just before I fell asleep - this one -

black wing
white moon
first frost


Thanks, Lee. Yes, leaping is leaping! The moon in poems is always a risk, so I felt my full moon leap had to be especially huge. I don't know if the leap is as big in this new one, but so far the words are sticking and won't budge. That's what happened with the full moon one. I tried all day to budge it - wouldn't budge.

Writing ghazals helped me learn how to write with feeling - Michael Cantor calls it "shmaltz" and that advice is perfect. And the repeating word or phrase at the end of each couplet helped me learn how to leap. You have to leap when you're repeating the same word/phrase 6 to 10 times in one poem, if you don't want to bore everyone.

~~~
Here's another one I just wrote:

cherry tomatoes
teardrops of
a lonely old fool

~~~~
Lee, this post has three now, for your comments, if you get a chance, please.

muse
my vase is broken
without you




[This message has been edited by Mary Meriam (edited October 18, 2008).]
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