[John Whitworth]

When things go wrong and will not come right
Though you do the best you can.
When life looks black as the hour of night
A pint of plain is your only man.

When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran.
When all you have is a heap of debt
A pint of plain is your only man.

When health is strange and your heart feels strange
And your face is pale and wan.
When doctors say that you need a change
A pint of plain is your only man

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan.
When hunger grows as your meals are rare
A pint of plain is your only man

In times of trouble and lonely strife
You have still got a darling plan.
You can still turn to a brighter life,
A pint of plain is your only man.

Well, I don't know about BAD now I look at it. Flann O'Brien is also Myles na Gopaleen and Brian O'Nolan. I think At Swim-two-birds is the finest Irish novel ever written. Knocks spotsoff Ulysses, being a). shorter and b). funnier. And the columns he wrote for the Irish whateveritwas are works of genius. Try the one about the people who (for a fee) will read your books for you and make then look as if they have been read. A pint of plain is a pint of stout, by the way.