[John Whitworth]

Indeed I do. It was sub regno Boris and the office was full of useless girls with posh voices and (I reckon) pinchable bottoms. I didn't give up and finally I got a woman with a Northern accent who said she would deal with it and did. I got my beer. I gather she was actually Boris's office manager. Possibly she still is

[Bill Greenwell]

Originally Posted by Susan McLean

Congratulations, Frank, Basil, Bill, and Chris!

Susan

Thanks for congratulating me when I didn't win! Here are my losers:

with apologies to The Seekers

How I sigh when I discover
That my entries have not won
I may starve this week, believe me
Now the competition’s done

How my heart was palpitating
But the postman brought me pain
Now the competition’s over
I will have to start again

Unlike some, I took a beating
And I wither on the vine
I may die from under-eating
While the winners wine and dine

Thoughts I harbour are appalling
And my crusts are hard and dry
Now the competition’s over
I may waste away and die

and

with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein

It’s always such fun, though a hundred and one,
To press past the Chess and read Lucy’s report:
To alight on my name and to savour the fame
Of winning the world’s most competitive sport.

Peerlessly I preen as I scan through the also-rans,
Proudly I let my immodesty blaze:
Frankly, I know that I’m one of my greatest fans –
It suits me to read such immutable praise.

Isn’t it great to win The Spectator?
To win bonus fivers whenever one tries:
I read my nurse every notable verse
That has won me the wonderful prize.

Pity for Whitworth, or Basil R-Davies?
Matron, I say, that would hardly be wise:
Let them weep when I win, for it keeps me in gin,
I have won, I have won, I have won, I have won, I have won the most
wonderful prize!

[John Whitworth]

I can't THINK why your Rogers and Hammerstein didn't win, Bill. It's a winner for me.

[Martin Parker]

I won the last ever Comp. to be rewarded with a case of the Cobra. I had to ring up in order to get it from a pretty shambolic-sounding Management.
And when it arrived it was one bottle short. Cobra is now in administration, I think -- perhaps as a result of having had to deal with The Speccie.

Incidentally, I once had to write in to get my cheque out of them. God help London now that Boris is its Mayor.

[Julie Steiner]

Oh, Martin. The pathos of winning, and then finding you're one bottle short. That would have been a sure winner.

(Although, come to think of it, people frequently tell me I'm one bottle short of a six-pack...and I've never won...so which scenario is more pathetic?)

Congrats!

[basil ransome-davies]

I hope you had better luck, Martin, than my current attempts to get the New Statesman to cough up for multiple past competition wins.

[Martin Parker]

Julie, I am strangely stirred by the thought of a woman with a five-pack. Please may we meet soon?

Basil, Could all your missing cheques have been sent to Willie Nelson instead of to you?

[basil ransome-davies]

If they went to Willie he'd be welcome, for the pleasure he's given me.

I note you're based in Devon, so you probably know Bill. Do you also know the fabulous Ella Westland?


Baz

[Roger Slater]

I'm not surprised you feel that way. You look an awful lot alike.

[John Whitworth]

I bet Boris had the bottle. How would you feel about that, Martin? There's the beginnings of a Cobra Club here. The beer, as I remember, was very good.