Bless you, Lance - you've raised this thread back up so I can thank everyone for their comments without bumping it myself. I was worried about doing that; it felt pushy.
This poem was a real "muse-gift", spawned from the situation just as it happened, and its makings are scrawled in the bedside notebook. When I looked at it later I realised there might be enough substance to make a sonnet, so I squeezed it till it did.
Thank you, everyone.
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