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Unread 04-20-2011, 04:16 AM
Catherine Chandler's Avatar
Catherine Chandler Catherine Chandler is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Canada and Uruguay
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Default Sonnet #12


Bell Creek Canyon

for Maddy


We kick off, climbing down to the side-creek,
chatting about who knows what. At each burst
of sun there’s more to talk about, the first
wet slide and swim brings laughter, then we speak
of how the light echoes along the walls,
rebounds from off the pebbles, seems to glide
on pools, and catches in the webs, hung side
to side above the creek in intricate shawls.
Almost as if some of our words are bound
on every throw of gossamer we pass
new waterfalls and fern walls need no comment,
till the silk has swept away the sound,
and a fresh silence glitters - here there is
a diamond on the finger of each moment.




Comment by Mr. Gwynn:



I scan the second line as /u u/ // /u // which strikes me as a little rough. In the fourth line the verb should be “bring.” Seems to me that the “we speak” manner (“our words are bound” “need no comment”) gets in the way of the natural description which is pretty though I wonder about the “webs.” Are we talking about Spanish moss or some kind of insect webs or just interlaced limbs? I’m not sure. “are bound / on every throw” also strikes me as a little strange. The last line is very nice.
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