[John Whitworth]

Nice one, Gail. I gave up on that book since I couldn't find rhymes for Quilp. So I had to find another. Pity about the greenery/scenery rhyme.
I tried tom get 'beanery' in, but I couldn't.



London shows us the usual scenery –
Foggy streets and an absence of greenery.
But Paris is worse.
It's under a curse
And heads are chopped off by machinery.

The English, like Cruncher and Lorry,
Say 'Please!' and 'Beg pardon!' and 'Sorry!'
But in Paris each peasant
Is rude and unpleasant –
A typical French category.

The plot's the most terrible tosh
Concerning the trials of the posh.
The background and style
Dickens pinched from Carlyle.
He says no, but it just doesn't wash.

[Susan d.S.]

These are great fun, little wonders of condensation. Like the 5 minute Hamlet. No Olivers?

[FOsen]

Edwin Drood and Miss Rosa were pledged
To be married, until Edwin hedged
And then disappeared.
It was murder, she feared.
At least that was what they alleged.

Ned’s sinister, fierce uncle Jasper
Longed for Rosa and wanted to clasp her.
So he may have offed Ned
And it may be he said
That, while smoking an opium gasper.

Some think Ned was stashed in the baptistery
But the answer's been cancelled from history,
For before he could write it,
Charles Dickens had died, it
Is why the damned thing’s such a mystery.

Frank

[John Whitworth]

That's great Frank, but I read somwhere that Jasper was actually twenty-six. Maybe that isn't right. I read it a long time ago.

Yup! I checked. Dickens says he was six-and-twenty but looked older.

[Roger Slater]

Good stuff, Frank and John and Gail. This is a challenging assignment. I think it would take at least four or five limericks to comprehensively summarize most Dickens novels.

This is still rough, though it may remain so:

A TALE OF TWO CITIES

The times were the best, but the worst.
They were blessed, but they also were cursed.
They were good, they were bad,
They were happy, yet sad,
They were all things, and all things reversed.

Sidney Carton looked just like Darnay,
And the two men loved Lucie, yet they
Were friends even though
Lucie chose as her beau
Charles Darnay and told Carton "No way!"

But Carton still loved her. That's why
When Darnay had been sentenced to die
Carton gave up his life
So that Charles Darnay's wife
Would be happy. Mon dieu, what a guy!

[Edmund Conti]

I wouldn't have done this one if I knew that Gail had. Oh well.

The Old Curiosity Shop
Is a shop where few shoppers will stop
And there Little Nell
Has her own living Hell
With her grandpa but no Mom or Pop.

To help Nell the grandfather gambles
But loses his shop. Life’s a shambles.
So it’s out to the Midlands
That’s where our poor kid lands.
Amidst all the brush and the brambles.

Daniel Quilp, who’s the villain to boo
Finds our heroes out there. What to do?
Well, to no one’s surprise
Our Little Nell dies.
Dan Q. Oh Dan Q. O Dan Q!