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  #11  
Unread 05-01-2012, 09:47 PM
Jean L. Kreiling Jean L. Kreiling is offline
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I like the metaphor here, and several individual words or phrases (especially "cross-timbers cave to embers"). But several other phrases seem uninspired or unclear, and I agree with some others that there's some padding here. I wish there had been some fresher details in the imagery. Great idea, not so great execution, IMHO.

Best,
Jean
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  #12  
Unread 05-01-2012, 11:20 PM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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I think I can understand the unusual terms in L2,3,
but do find the end of L3 clunky, and really don't like L8--the
repetition of flame just seemed uninspired. The sestet is
very fine.

BTW, I have a strong hunch about who the author might be.
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  #13  
Unread 05-02-2012, 12:09 AM
Carol Trese Carol Trese is offline
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I remember and love this one.

Last edited by Carol Trese; 05-02-2012 at 11:42 AM. Reason: typo
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