[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by Pedro Poitevin

Too bad it can't be more than sixteen lines. I've got Romney's villanelle!

Could you make it into a villanette?

[Chris O'Carroll]

Marion, I think it might be OK to count Bush as a "contemporary politician." The definition of that term is admittedly a bit fuzzy around the edges. But if Tony Blair and John Prescott fit the profile, even though neither of them holds elective office at the moment, then W might also fit.

(Perhaps my information on Prescott is out of date. He's got a seat in the House of Lords, but isn't he now, or hasn't he recently been, a candidate for something else?)

[Lance Levens]

In the interest of bi-partisanship:


Oh Gee! Oh Me! I've made it to the top!
(I saved my special kiss for Camera Two.)
It's true: they need me. (May they never stop!)
So, here am I, all dewy in the loo.

I'll win! I'll shine! With fair unblemished skin
I'll slice our taxes like a bearded Jew.
I'll crack Barack (since I've never known a sin)
Just see my teeth--that's all you have to do.

I procreated like a crazy man
and now my sons--they chatter like me too.
After a Romney quarter century span
The Times can kiss the backside of a gnu.

Now if I can just unlock this thing...
I'll bet the lock's Chinese, some sneaky Woo.
They're sabotaging me! I'm George, The King!
I won't get down and crawl through common poo!

[John Whitworth]

Prescott wants to be a local Police Chief. Blair wants to be President of Europe. Why not? Fit him like a glove I'd say.

[John Whitworth]

And here's Michael Gove. Note to furriners. He is just as I describe.

I'm Gove

I'm Gove and I'm bright as a button.
I'm Gove and I'm Scotch as the drink.
With a swing of my kilt I can prove to the hilt
Whatever I want you to think.

I'm Gove and I'm loud as the thunder.
I'm Gove and a cabinet star.
Though some say that Gove is a rum sort of cove,
I'm the fellow who wins the cigar.

I'm Gove and I'm right as a trivet.
I'm Gove and I go with the flow.
I'm abreast with what's what, I'm one hell of a swot
And there' s nothing at all I don't know.

I'm Gove and I'm happy as Larry.
I'm Gove and I'm clever as clever.
Why, my pants are so smarty, the whole Tory Party
Will make me their leader for ever.

[Adrian Fry]

In the interests of balance, Gove has a laugh like a sea-lion.

[Mary McLean]

Darn it, mine's several million lines too long:

The King Gove Bible

1 In the beginning Gove created the heaven and the earth.
2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Gove moved upon the face of the waters.
3 And Gove said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4 And Gove saw the light, that it was good: and Gove divided the light from the darkness. etc etc

[Adrian Fry]

Michael Gove

My poem is too new to be a classic,
Though its author is a male, white and rich,
But if I appoint some right wing geriatrics
It should make the syllabus without a hitch.

My poem is traditional, if modern,
Containing Latin tags and thees and thous
And all the other guff that's been forgotten
In a bid to make poems relevant to now.

My poem will just suit a chap at Eton,
He'll get the references or crib them from a chum.
It'll leave the comprehensive oiks well beaten
So let Gove become a classic, bang the drum!

[Jerome Betts]

Vince Cable

A business question needs an answer?
Consult this consummate old dancer -
But, if you really want the figures,
No miked-up hacks, or dirty diggers,
Or claims you caught me sticking needles
In models of the Barclay tweedles!

Nor, though the Bird is far from perky
And in the polls appears a turkey,
Sly hints that ultimate survival
Demands I stand as open rival
To coalition curate's eggery,
That toxic orange cocktail, Cleggery!

.

[Lance Levens]

Where are my fellow Americans? Pony up here, Marion and Bob, Chris et alii. Let all your vitriol out in numbers.