[Brian Allgar]

I have just been reading a book by Geoffrey Willans that has deeply impressed me with its hidden wisdom and its simple yet uncompromising language which I believe will strike an echo with our traditional voters. Based on my reading, here is the outline manifesto that I am here to propose:

1. Down with Torrees
2. Cameron want to be pry minster agane but he uterly wet and a weed
3. Clegg uterly wet and a weed, he also want to be pry minster but he hav no chance, chiz!
4. Grene parties all skip like girlies saing “hello trees hello sky hello planet”
5. Laber is best party to guvven the country as any fule kno
6. When I becum pry minster I giv jobs to all loil suporters
7. Eksept my bro Miliband Senior who hav no chance and is uterly wet and a weed, enuff said