[Tim Murphy]

Excellent, but I would drop the "me" in the final line, which screws up the rolicking meter.

[Lance Levens]

Well done! What 007 calls "slapstick" is in fact a shrewd metric commentary on the REAL nature of this sonnet. Du Bellay is fascinating and this translator has pierced though our awe at all things French to the smirking comedy that lies at the heart.

[Don Jones]

To showcase why this translation is excellent, take one line:

Original

Et pour répondre un mot, un quart d'heure y songer :

Crib

And to answer a word, a quarter of an hour to think about it

Translation

To weigh up for ages each subject you mention

The translator has provided an excellent crib from which to work. Now consider how another writer may have thought to include “a quarter hour to think” (just like the French) from this crib to the translation in verse.

For example, To answer someone, a quarter hour to think.

This line won’t do but look at what our translator did:

To weigh up for ages each subject you mention

It beautifully paraphrases the French while remaining true to it. One of the dangers of translating French is that it fairly closely follows English syntax enough to want to make things easier and match the items up. But our translator chose the more difficult path of coming up with an English that does not parallel the French by making the best use of English. Sounds easy. But it’s hard.

The choice of meter is inspired and deftly executed.

Can’t praise enough. Bravo or Brava!

[Brian Allgar]

Tim, I agree that the last line has a metrical glitch, but I think that it comes not from "me", but from the misplaced stress on "my".

It could perhaps have been avoided by taking a slight liberty with the original:

xxAnd that, dear Morel, during three years of pleasure,
xxIs all that Rome taught me, I'm sorry to say.

[Skip Dewahl]

Not to speak freely, the way we do here is a bit too off the mark for Ne suivre en son parler la liberté de France, and, likewise To weigh up for ages each subject you mention, for Et pour répondre un mot, un quart d'heure y songer

S2L2: machination is too strong a word for what the author intended.

S2L4: And not to let everyone know what you’re thinking is not specific enough, because what he meant was "speak sparsely".

S4L2: (though it gives me no pleasure) for (dont je rougis de honte) "of which I blush with shame" is obviously a liberty that should have been avoided.

Other than these, which can be easily revised, I like everything else about this translation; even the occasional metrical lapses don't bother me. Congratulations!

[Diane Arnson Svarlien]

The rhythm is excellent and the tone is just right.