[Shaun J. Russell]

I love this.

It feels like a Holly Martins poem to me, for whatever that may be worth. And if it's NOT a Holly Martins poem, my comment should be taken as a compliment...

Anyhow, this is the first of the bakeoff poems that set up an atmosphere and don't just delve into show and tell. I can feel those streetlights like the lighting in a noir film.

My only minor suggestion would be to switch the order of "come sometimes" in L6. Other than that, this easily jumps to the top of the chart for me.

[Jean L. Kreiling]

This is successfully atmospheric, but sometimes confusing, and often metrically bumpy. And "Nothing Is In Store" seems like an odd "final notice."

jlk

[Janice D. Soderling]

Jean, might not that be an attempt to prevent break-ins? Like "Big Watchdog Inside"?

[Maryann Corbett]

Originally Posted by Janice D. Soderling

Jean, might not that be an attempt to prevent break-ins? Like "Big Watchdog Inside"?

That was the way I read it: telegraphese for "There's nothing in this store," but with a double meaning, "There is no future." The extra edge on the statement is that in a run-down part of town, with vacant buildings, where people sneak around to keep certain appointments (drug dealing? worse?) there may literally be no future.

[John Whitworth]

Nice piece, perhaps over-adjectival, but then so is Poe.

[Michael Cantor]

It's portentous, and choked with adjectives:

globe streetlight
thousandth street,
dim retreat
brownstone storefront
pale night shadows

loud knock
wooden door,
unrelenting lock,
unread papers
final notice

thousandth night
globe streetlight.


Twelve in fourteen lines!

Additionally, I'll bet $20.00 that this was originally written as a twelve-liner, and the last two lines were added to make it a sonnet and enter it in the contest. It's far better without them - and you eliminate two modifier/noun pairs.

[John Whitworth]

If I had written this I would claim Michael's $20 forthwith.

[Spindleshanks]

I'm drawn to this, though it strikes me as more Conan Doyle than Poe. Is this 221 Baker St?
The carefully constructed density seem entirely apt to its carefully constructed dense atmosphere.

I think the doorway refers to the alcove forming the entry way to the closed door, hence outside the door. In this piece, I see the adjectival feast as elemental to the atmosphere construct.

I wish I could fathom it, though that may rob it of part of its intrigue. Nonetheless, it's on my vote list as a placeholder at present.

*Afterthought: googling "late for appointment" revealed 93700 hits.

[Ann Drysdale]

I took the line "nothing is in store" to mean, by allusion, that there is no future, only the past, as represented by the shades, shadows, etc.

So, in the final couplet the "Now" suggests that we should go back and reassess the original image. This is a picture of a dying town.

[Janice D. Soderling]

I fully agree with Maryann and Ann that the sign is meant to have (in the poem) a double meaning.