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05-13-2014, 04:52 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 9,668
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Yes, great stuff. My number one also.
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05-13-2014, 05:11 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cambridge UK
Posts: 1,224
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My favourite too. The sentiment seems kind of familiar, but setting it at a concrete moment in time - and such a moment - gives it real weight. And the description draws us into that moment, without drawing undo attention to itself. The harpoon image is striking and memorable but the poem accommodates it comfortably.
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05-13-2014, 05:20 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
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Yes. This is well done.
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05-13-2014, 05:24 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Gloucestershire, UK.
Posts: 541
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I don't like "bold decisions, grand designs" and have some reservations abt "plastique." But I love the ending; and think this is very well done.
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05-13-2014, 06:16 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 1,048
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I'd like to do a little punctuation surgery on this, and I might tweak a line or two, but it's a fine sonnet that goes beyond the initial paradox--already poignant---to ask a particularly thoughtful question and then conclude with an incisive image.
jlk
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05-13-2014, 06:18 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Monterey, CA USA
Posts: 2,377
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Are we stopping at 10? I always wish they'd go on longer... This is the clear winner for me, and it seems to me they got better day-by-day. I wonder if the TSDG did that on purpose...
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05-13-2014, 06:34 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Breaux Bridge, LA, USA
Posts: 3,509
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I just reread R.S. Gwynn's sonnet "Dogswatch", which makes a nice comparison with this one. I hardly know which I like better.
(However, my answer to the poet's question would have to be NO -- I certainly would not enjoy the moonlight if I knew I was going to be blown up in 10 minutes.)
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05-13-2014, 06:51 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Halcott, New York
Posts: 9,993
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Killer ending.
Nemo
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05-13-2014, 07:29 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 10,406
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Gail, you made me laugh. Yes, I think we all can agree that we wouldn't be able to enjoy the beauty of the night in the same way if we knew we'd be blown apart in a few minutes. It's a beautifully put-together sonnet, so I don't think it spoils it for most readers to have that pragmatic answer to the question lingering in the background. L4-5 was the only place where I noticed an awkwardness of syntax and punctuation. The moonlight as harpoon is a particularly nice metaphor.
Susan
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05-13-2014, 08:06 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,202
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I thought of Sam's poem also. This one is as good. Not a single rhyme or line seems forced - it all just slides together wonderfully, tells a story, has a turn - does it all. This is the way sonnets work when they work well. My choice.
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