[Charlie Southerland]

I never knew Nigel at all
But I saw him once at Whitehall
He was so proper and prim
Always the heavy and grim
Learning to speak with a drawl.

[John Whitworth]

From every side they come!

Our Nigel is such a good egg,
Unlike Millibum, Cam’ron and Clegg,
He’s a marvellous bloke
For all elderly folk,
Not a nerd or a turd or a dreg.

[Brian Allgar]

You may think him extremist and sottish
With views that are racist and rottish,
But he’ll welcome your vote
To keep UKIP afloat -
Unless you are foreign (or Scottish).

[John Whitworth]

Ah. A limerick that actually scans. A pleasant change.

Have at you!

Nigel wins again

The Paddies, the Taffs and the Scotch
Make a quite indescribable botch.
The English are best.
We beat all the rest,
And Nigel’s the fellow to watch!

[Jerome Betts]

Few will vote for the Ukipper's chef
Apart from the mad, blind and deaf
(Metaphorical use
Not vulgar abuse)
Which will hasten the fall of N.F.

[John Whitworth]

What's N F Jerome and where is it rising?

[Nigel Mace]

When assessing Farage, you can watch
Him in chalk-stripe from collar to crotch,
But on listening, you’ll feel
He’s so down at the heel,
You’re best suited from some other swatch.

[Jerome Betts]

N.F. = Nigel Farage, John.

Nice one, the other Nigel, with 'swatch'.

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Jerome. I hadn't thought of that.

[Nicholas Stone]

I initially read it as National Front. I wasn't far off.