[W T Clark]

What of "suddenly" instead of "surprisingly"? I prefer "east". This is enthralling, though. Well-made: a vision. Well reworked. Like wood.

Hope this helps.

[Christine P'legion]

Originally Posted by W T Clark

What of "suddenly" instead of "surprisingly"?

A perfect substitution. Thank you.

[Paula Fernandez]

Hi Christine--

Beautiful, beautiful. I think the changes you already made did a lot to improve this. I can really see this in my mind's eye and it's entrancing.

I wonder how it would be in first-person though? I would love to imagine you, the author, describing this magical transformation that you achieve with ease whenever life is too much with you.

Also, I paused on arms "like wings, like gunwales". Are the arms not becoming actual gunwales? The second "like" seems to be implying a simile, but I think the "she" is definitely becoming a real boat, right?

[David Callin]

Hi Christine. I like this too, but "glass-bottomed" (to me) stills jars slightly. Is it too inadvertently comical in its connotations? Maybe not. (Maybe it's my childish sense of humour, but I have to say it as I see it.)

It's a very pleasing metamorphosis anyway.

Cheers

David

[Christine P'legion]

Thanks, David and Paula, for your comments. I think I'm pretty happy with this piece as it is now, and I've got it out for consideration in a couple of journals. If they all reject it I'll certainly revisit your suggested tweaks