[Matt Q]

Jim and Richard,

Thanks both for your comments.

Jim,

Thanks for coming back. I'm glad you liked the changes. It was only when I reorganised the stanza spacing I realised I'd basically written a sonnet, with the "yet" falling in exactly the right place. "whole" is an interesting possibility, which would work with the theme of falling apart and decay. I hadn't previously considered, and one I'll be mulling over.

Richard,

Welcome to the Sphere!

I've being going back forth on "bound" vs "built" since before I posted the original version, so it's good to hear your preference. I think I agree with you.

Yes, the woodworm and the chair are both already in the process of a type of transformation, as you say, in that they're changing form. With the close, I was hoping to suggest transformation in its positive sense, its sense of positive growth/improvement. In the sense people use it when they say "this will completely transform your life/home/love life/relationship", or "that experience was transformative". Something that might be a "cause for hope". And to oppose this to the decay (the throne peeling and being eaten by the woodworm).

I guess the poem's trying to say: look these changes that look and feel like decay might actually be transformation, positive development, transcendent even -- something you thought had stopped happening in your life and was no longer an option. Not that the poem necessarily wholly sincere, mind. It's tongue might partly be in its cheek.

Anyway, apologies for the long explanation. It's for my benefit as much as yours. Sometimes explaining helps me better understand what I'm trying to do, and to what extent I'm expecting the reader to be a mind-reader!

Thanks again, both.

Matt

[Jim Moonan]

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Originally Posted by Matt Q

I guess the poem's trying to say: look these changes that look and feel like decay might actually be transformation, positive development, transcendent even -- something you thought had stopped happening in your life and was no longer an option. Not that the poem necessarily wholly sincere, mind. It's tongue might partly be in its cheek.

Matt

I like that.

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[Matt Q]

Thanks, Jim

Now I just need to get the poem to do a better job of conveying it

Matt

[Barbara Lee]

Hello Matt,

I have been mulling this over since yesterday and wonder if this is a case of being invested an image/trope that just won’t fit. I am thinking of the throne. Even so you have some nice language going on with the wood decay. What about using heartwood instead of throne? You can still imply an arrogant royal chamber without the throne bit.

I think you have a start on the poem you want to express with some good language to play with,

Good luck on the work,

Cheers,
Barbara

[Matt Q]

Thanks Barbara,

Yes, the poem isn't really working yet. Part of the problem, I think, its that it's not really clear in the poem what's decaying: the throne, or the heart, or both. Losing the throne would certainly simplify things.

So far, my attempts make it just about the heart itself haven't worked out. I seem to lose a big part of what I'm trying -- and so far failing! -- to get across. Likely this one needs some serious drawer-time.

Thanks again,

Matt