[John Boddie]

John -

I apologize for being late to the party.

This is the quality of work I expect from you - word choice, your selection of the theme, the sense of motion beneath the still words. The close is first-rate. Were you thinking of Eleanor Rigby when you wrote it?

I couldn't shake the feeling that this is a poem that wants to be a sonnet.

Thank you for posting it.

JB

[John Riley]

Thanks for the notes, James. I’ll keep them for revision.

Thanks, John. I’m glad this one hit the spot.

[David Callin]

Originally Posted by James Midgley

I think you could lose 'a house / too fresh to say goodbye to'. I can't really make sense of it and I sense the poem lingers a little too long on the house.

John, I think that's a good point. Other than that, I like it, and I think the close works really well. (I'm assuming this is a reworked version of the close I'm reading now.)

Cheers

David

[John Riley]

Thanks, John and David, I’m pleased it works for you.

I’m reconsidering that house.