[Jayne Osborn]

Hi Duncan,

Oh, what a wonderful tribute to Ann!

It tells those who never knew you as a couple some details a) about Ann herself and b) your life together, to form a picture of a loving, contented marriage, literally "until death do us part".

I didn't know the song Tangled Up in Blue (whilst I wouldn't go quite so far as to call Bob Dylan a "snarling villain", I must admit I was never a fan of his) so I Googled it to get the tune, as your poem is set to it. I didn't listen for very long... (sorry!) but I'm sure I'll get to hear you sing Mrs MacLovely Ann at some stage.

So, at the moment, it's a poem to me, rather than a song, and as such all the times you write an' instead of and - I think it's nine times - and also nothin', I'd much prefer to see the full words; you no doubt sing it that way, as singers often do, but on the page I don't see any advantage in the abbreviations because it's not as if you're losing any syllables.

With that in mind, as there are three in quick succession, you could maybe lose one an' here:

We got a dog, quadruple-crossed,
so full of love an’ grace,
an’ gradually we kind of lost

I haven't any other quibbles (I like that word ). I think it's an altogether-lovely-poem!

Jayne

[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Duncan,

I read this through and found it interesting as a condensed biography of a relationship and touching as a tribute to someone who was greatly loved. With its emphasis on rhyme it may serve best as the song you intend it to be. I remember that you've posted links of you sharing prior pieces of yours in song. When you decide this one is in finished form, I hope you share it that way too.

All the best,
Jim

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

Cheers, Jayne!

I'm fairly committed to dropping the 'd' in 'and' and the 'g' in '-ing' when they aren't pronounced in either a spoken or sung version.

But that was a good call with regard to the triple 'an''. I've reworked it in such a way that there's only one left now.

x Duncan

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

Cheers, Jim!

I'll remember to do that.

Best
Duncan

[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Duncan,

I just listened to the finished version of this as a song, which you posted with a link in general announcements. I listened to all of the songs on the album. I live in the Mid-Atlantic Piedmont area in the states, just east of parts of Appalachia. A lot of Scots settled hereabouts and it's easy to hear in your songs the influences that were brought here to create what we call bluegrass music. While most of your songs hold a plaintive sorrow, for me "Mrs. McLovely Ann" has a humor that sets it apart. Hearing this poem sung was a good lesson for me as a critique-er here on the sphere in remembering to try to read a poem with the tone and emphases of the speaking voice that are easily missed seeing it only in print. Thanks for posting the songs.

Jim

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

Hi Jim

Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts.

There's a PDF file of the lyrics on my blog if you're interested.

Best
Duncan

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

Originally Posted by Jim Ramsey

While most of your songs hold a plaintive sorrow,...

I find this statement surprising. What I'm guessing is that the three songs that do hold a plaintive sorrow weigh heavily. The other six are a different kettle of fish. Three tributes to three different people, and three celebrations of love and life. Or perhaps what you mean is: "While your other songs about the loss of your wife hold a plaintive sorrow,... "