[Robert Meyer]

del.

[This message has been edited by Robert Meyer (edited May 28, 2006).]

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

License to Grill

The neighbour thinks 'cause it’s the month of May then it’s time to barbecue
And if there’s just a hint of sunshine, then he will.
Oh, it’s only a quarter to four,
But there’s smoke coming in at my door.

Now, there's a Vegan on my block,
She just sit there as the night grows still.
She say who gonna take away his license to grill?

Now, he’s drinking cans of lager and he’s taken off his shirt.
Soon he’ll fill himself with burgers which make him ill.
Then he’ll stay up half the night,
Very likely get into a fight.

Now, there's a Vegan on my block,
She just sit there facin' the hill.
She say who gonna take away his license to grill?

Now, he’s roasting different pieces of poultry, pork and beef,
And he thinks this form of cooking requires skill.
He imagines the meaning of fun
Is sitting getting drunk in the sun.

But there's a Vegan on my block,
Sitting there in a cold chill.
She say who gonna take away his license to grill?

Yeah, he’s a noisemaker, troublemaker,
Lawbreaker, wiseacre,
Leaves no steak unturned.
You’d never guess that Geoff
was such a good chef.
That’s another sausage burned.

Now he worships at his altar with its stinking coals,
And when they’re glowing to perfection he’s fulfilled.
Oh, the man is opposed to fair play,
He wants it all and he wants it his way.

Now, there's a Vegan on my block,
She just sit there as the night grows still.
She say who gonna take away his license to grill?

[D. Brian Craig]

I believe at least a few Eratospherians are familiar with Marcy Shaffer's blog. She's been posting weekly current event re-writes of lyrics since October of last year.

What's really exciting, if you like musical parody, is that she's begun setting the lyrics to actual music... with very <u>impressive</u> results.

Check it out.

DBC

[Orwn Acra]

It's a slim chance that any of you know who the Dresden Dolls are, but I re-wrote their song "Coin-Operated Boy" a while ago. It can be enjoyed even if you don't know the real words, I think.

Old-People Everywhere

Old-people everywhere
with their liver spots
and their balding hair
all that patchy skin
sagging everywhere
old-people on the prowl
so I say, “beware”
‘cuz there’s old-people everywhere

Bum-bum

With their plastic hips and hearts
When they’re dead they’ll fall apart
Who could ever, ever ask for more?
Old-people browsing the grocery store…

Many dates and times to forget
When I’m old I might just lose it
I will never remember again
Alzheimer’s is messing with my head…

Bum-bum

Old-people everywhere
I guess when you’re old – it’s not very fair
‘cuz all them young ‘uns
they don’t smell like onions
and they’ll never ever know what it’s like not to be old…
what it’s like not to be old…
and they’ll never ever know…
what it’s like not to be old…
what it’s like not to be old…
‘cuz there’s old-people everywhere

bum-bum
[BRIDGE]
this bridge was written
for the elder’s new kitten
who has not been fed
for six weeks – it’s near dead
yes, it’s really quite scary
for this poor cat, named Larry
is hungry, please feed him
he’s starving, I love him
don’t loose him, stop dying
just feed him, start trying
I love him, I’m crying
‘cuz I want you
I want you
I want you
To feed him
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want a…
I want some…
I want some…
I want some…

Old-people everywhere…

-some instrumentation-

and if they had strong bones to lean on
for their life, they can’t imagine
and child wanting to get old
to smell like steaming cabbage and some mold

Bum-bum

Old-people everywhere
They may not be real – useful to the world
But they are still people
So I guess I’ll treat them
With some respect
I think that’s very fair

ding-ding

Old-people everywhere
With all their old... people catatonic stares
Dreaming that they are free
To digest macaroni
Without any problems
Oh God, how I love them

Old-people everywhere

BUM-BUM

[Marion Shore]

Any Tom Lehrer fans out there?

If you know him, you may feel it's arrogant to write a parody of him, since he is probably the best satiric songwriter in the universe.

However, I had the cojones to do it.

Those of you who know me, will probably know where this is coming from!

Here's the original. You can even listen to the melody, and sing along!

National Brotherhood Week

Oh the Angles hate the Saxons,
and the Saxons hate the Angles,
the Normans hate the Frisians,
and everybody hates the Jutes.

But during National Brotherhood Week,
National Brotherhood Week,
It's National Don't-Eviscerate
One-Another-hood Week,
go up and shoot the breeze
with your Celtic enemies,
you won't have to club them if you try!

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

I got round to recording that Dylan spoof. Listen here.

Duncan

[Allen Tice]

I'm having trouble deciding whether Julie Stoner's is funnier (and truer) than Roger Slater's (which is in a world all its own). Roger's is gentler, Julie's is so apt it's hazardous.

All you others so far are doing good too.