[Jim Hayes]

Final version (I think)
and what Marion said Birthe.

Spiced up Speccie

At the District Court the witless, on soleman, worn oats, said she was a virgin at the time of the asshault which occurred in her reclining years and filled her with foetal despair.
The defendant defied the change that he was settling an old sore but admitted he had been nude to the plaintit when he called to her horse to get copies of God Save the Queer and Fanny Boy hung by Belton John retuned

The persecutor objected to the fudge saying the evidence was not german to the case as, cleanly; the witness was between a cock and a hard place.

The judge curiously banged his navel on the wench rebeating himself while the judy retried to retch a verdict returning to find the accursed guilty but inane.

‘God bless you al', said the old sphincter to the fireman of the jury as the trail colluded.

[Marion Shore]

Jim, if this doesn't take the jiver, I'll eat my cat.
(surry)

I have one question. Isn't 'sphincter'--hilarious as it is--a bit too far from 'spinster' to be a misprint? Unless you use voice recognition as I do, which makes more embarassing mistakes than I care to think about.

[Jim Hayes]

Thanks for the vote Marion, personally, I believe it is but it's too much a tit of bum to abandon.

Anyway, I liked yours best, as I imagine Lucy will.
Jim

[Marion Shore]

Jim, yeah, leave it in! One good laugh is worth a thousand misprints.

[Roger Slater]

Yet another government financed study has confirmed that frequent drinkers of the finest and most expensive red wines tend to be far wealthier than the overall population. The new study has generated controversy not for its results, but for its eleven-million-pound price tag. Asked to explain why her study ended up costing so much money to conduct, Dr. Lotta Tippling, the study's author, climbed into her brand new Maserati Grancabrio, rolled down the window, and said simply, "I can only peculate."