[Tim Murphy]

Henry, s'Brillig.

[Janet Kenny]

O
Henry

[Roger Slater]

(revision posted a few posts down the board)

VICTOR'S SECRET

I asked my friend the billonaire
... how he, a man of sixty,
convinced a famous underwear
... model, so young, so sexy,

to be his bride, and he replied,
... "When I proposed to Katie,
I confess I might have lied
... and told her I was eighty."



[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Jim Hayes]

Well they could have stood up 'en mass' Well done Henry- a very good rendition indeed, but could you say 'No,Heck! he swore' rather than No,no, he said' which leaves 'said' hanging without a rhyme partner in an otherwise perfect piece.


Kate's is also excellent nicely rounded by Tim. We need to get a better rhyme than sexy/sixty Bob, perhaps some variation of sixty five/alive, other than that, slyly excellent.

Jim



[This message has been edited by Jim Hayes (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Henry Quince]

Yes, Jim, I've been thinking about that stray line... You're right it could do with a rhyme. But you know, "swore" isn't a proper rhyme for "wore", so I'll continue to think. — Henry


[This message has been edited by Henry Quince (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Roger Slater]

[error]

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Roger Slater]

Jim, is this rhyme better?


VICTOR'S SECRET

I asked my friend the billonaire
... how he, at sixty-seven,
convinced a buxom underwear
... model from lingerie heaven

to be his bride, and he replied,
... "When I proposed to Katie,
I confess I might have lied
... and told her I was eighty."

**

Henry, I think "swore" and "wore" are proper rhymes. One begins with "sw" and the other with "w", so they are different sounds. Note that they are both one syllable, and both end with the same sound but begin with a different one. So they rhyme. Just as "rhyme" rhymes with "prime", etc.




[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Julie Steiner]

Let me contribute another oldie but baddie.

Grass Ceiling

There once was a king near the Tropic
of Cancer, where progress was glacial.
His kingdom was quite microscopic,
although his grass hut was palatial.

His wives bought a new-fangled toilet
to heighten his birthday delight.
As seeing this present would spoil it,
they stashed it upstairs overnight.

Alas, it crashed down from the attic
and wounded two slumbering wives.
The ruler's response was emphatic:
"You're blest to escape with your lives!

"People who live in grass houses,"
he scolded them, "Shouldn't stow thrones."
(At this, all the rest of his spouses
redoubled the injured ones' groans.)

Julie Stoner



[This message has been edited by Julie Stoner (edited January 29, 2004).]

[Jim Hayes]

Julie that was wonderful!


Tender Touch

Ray and Di are two old folk who dwell
together in a home. One morning Di
says to Ray I bet you I can tell
your age and Ray says go ahead and try.

“Pull down your pants” -- Ray doesn’t understand
but just to please her does as he is told.
She takes his bits and pieces in her hand
and tells him that he’s eighty six years old.

“You’re right!, that’s great, how did you know?” said Ray
“Because” said Di; “You told me yesterday“.

Jim

[Jim Hayes]

It's brill Bob excellent fix!
Henry, Roger is correct about the rhymes; swore/wore is a legitimate rhyme option

Jim