[Martin Parker]

Martin, That's kind. I also think you have picked on the best bit!

Janet, I'm amazed that hedgehogs have not made the trip from NZ.

John, If we ever meet remind me to tell you the story about the novice Zoo Keeper who was told to take a party of nuns on a guided tour. And, before anyone asks, I should explain that it has a visual element which will not reproduce in print.

[Maryann Corbett]

Welcome, Martin P., and I see the competition on this thread is getting tougher as we go! I too wish it were legit to write from the cyclist's perspective--I'd get some very heartfelt help from my better half.

[Martin Elster]

You cut me off at crosswalks, nearly
hit my dog, run red lights, blare
your horn at me, pollute the air,
and drive too fast so cavalierly

that, even when you smash a cat,
you race away as if you own
the earth. While yacking on the phone,
it’s plain you’re blinder than a bat.

May you get fined for rattling on,
may flats plague every inner tube,
your engine lose all of its lube.
This tool you so depend upon

to get you from point A to B,
when used by you, is quite a hazard.
I hope it plows into a mazzard,
oak or elm — but pray, not me!

[Gail White]

Great entries, people!
I adapted this one from a longer poem (ballade) that I wrote some time ago:

I’m hiking through New Mexico, let’s say,
facing the glories of the setting sun.
But just before I get to Santa Fe,
there you are, stranger, with your ganglion
sized brain and SUV that weighs a ton
paying no mind to sunset’s golden crown,
but nitter-nattering ninety-nine to one…
so would you kindly put your cell phone down?

Haven’t you noticed it’s a lovely day?
The kind that makes you want to jump and run?
But even driving, you can’t throw away
that cell phone. Look, you're running down a nun!
So I’m no longer saying this for fun.
My curse can blow a Humvee out of town.
I’m out of Prozac, and I have a gun.
So would you kindly put your cell phone down?