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01-20-2010, 09:05 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,202
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The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
Last edited by Michael Cantor; 01-20-2010 at 09:16 AM.
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01-20-2010, 12:13 PM
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Distinguished Guest
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
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The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
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01-20-2010, 12:55 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,025
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The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
we'd surely suffer constant ridicule,
and Hu-Mer kids are frowed upon-- life's cruel!
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01-20-2010, 03:32 PM
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Distinguished Guest
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
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The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
we'd surely suffer constant ridicule,
and Hu-Mer kids are frowed upon-- life's cruel!
Your father Neptune and your mom the seal--
if we were married, think how they would squeal
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01-21-2010, 09:24 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,177
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The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
we'd surely suffer constant ridicule,
and Hu-Mer kids are frowned upon-- life's cruel!
Your father Neptune and your mom the seal--
if we were married, think how they would squeal.
Stop carping like a fishwife, or I'm out
of here," I wailed. "Go find yourself a trout."
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01-21-2010, 10:20 AM
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 |
Distinguished Guest
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|
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
|
|
The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
we'd surely suffer constant ridicule,
and Hu-Mer kids are frowned upon-- life's cruel!
Your father Neptune and your mom the seal--
if we were married, think how they would squeal.
Stop carping like a fishwife, or I'm out
of here," I wailed. "Go find yourself a trout."
"Look here," she said, "I've one more thing to add.
You see this baby porpoise? You're a dad."
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01-21-2010, 01:32 PM
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Member
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,025
|
|
The midnight knock is followed by a voice,
a raspy bass, “Hey, open up, it’s Joyce!”
"Tell me, do you mean the Joyce whose fame's
based on Trees, or are we talking James?"
"To write" she answered "was my dearest wish;
but I should say I am in fact a fish..."
I cracked the door, and saw that line 2's "bass"
should not have rhymed with "face", but "[something crass]".
I'm cursed by TYPO, keeper of the keys
I'd beg for help, but I do not have knees.
I thought I knew the face, but wasn't sure:
"Hey -- is this Joyce the Mermaid at the door?"
"Yes! It's me I'm dried out, and I'm woozy.
Let's talk while I relax in your jacuzzi
How come you don't recall my voice, my dear?
There was a time its timbres charmed your ear."
I said "Come in for lunch. You'll find a plaice
inside." She disappeared without a trace.
I went out fishing for her. In the river
of murky mist, the air gave me a shiver.
I had the urge to leave, but let it pass.
I listened for the sound of bass or bass
when -- ouch! -- a pointy thorn impaled my hand
and yanked me up. Now, far above, the land-
mark wheel of London's cantilevered Eye
frowned down on me. I sat and wondered why
hallucinations plagued me day and night.
I pulled myself together then turned right
into a pub, and drank a pint of ale,
pondering that mermaid's lovely tail
swathed in seaweed. Now where is that creature
with flowing golden hair (its foremost feature)?
It wouldn't be amiss to find it dead -
sorely tortured by a twisted thread.
Can those, then, whose pursuits are piscatorial
chip in to give the thing a decent burial.
Now Joyce appeared and said, “Your long-lost fish--
how could you want me dead? Is that your wish?”
Although the tale is fishy, I'll be kind,
and change my answer to a never mind.
"How can I love a girl who is half fish?
If we should wed against my parents' wish
we'd surely suffer constant ridicule,
and Hu-Mer kids are frowned upon-- life's cruel!
Your father Neptune and your mom the seal--
if we were married, think how they would squeal.
Stop carping like a fishwife, or I'm out
of here," I wailed. "Go find yourself a trout."
"Look here," she said, "I've one more thing to add.
You see this baby porpoise? You're a dad."
You missed your birth control on poipus, Joyce!
You played me for a stooge! I have no choice ...
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02-06-2010, 05:57 PM
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Distinguished Guest Host
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Stoke Poges, Bucks, UK
Posts: 5,081
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This fine poem needs a title.
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02-06-2010, 06:14 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,025
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Quote:
Originally Posted by David Anthony
This fine poem needs a title.
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Drowned on Porpoise
Joyce Because
Beat the Bass Drum
Sirens Song
Dead in the Water
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02-06-2010, 06:44 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Stoke Poges, Bucks, UK
Posts: 5,081
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'Fish and Chaps'?
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