Finally a category where our poetry fits.
Carol' poem reminded me of a poem we wrote a couple of years ago.

Another Misunderstanding

My dog's run away, he's done it before
this makes three times, or possibly four.
he's loved and he's fed, and well-sheltered too,
so why he runs off I haven't a clue.

I want a dog who will stay by my side
companion, protector, and faithful guide.
I don't need a dog that rolls over and begs
what I need is a dog without any legs.
then he'll stay home, won't be able to run
though it might reduce the little dogs' fun.

how to find a legless dog I haven't a clue,
not one battered and damaged but almost brand new.
I doubt I would find one down at the pound,
I asked pet shop owners where one could be found.
the owners all said legless dogs were the dregs
they can't imagine people wanting dogs with no legs.

I finally decided to ask my dogs veterinarian
a wise old, intelligent, octogenarian.
Where find a dog with no legs? Of course I know.
He'd be right where you left him, where could he go?

[kiwi]

Another vote for Sharon to develop the "Willow Tree".
My spirit hiked a few notches whilst reading it!

Kiwi

[This message has been edited by kiwi (edited May 16, 2002).]

[Nemo]

ok, top this one.... completely dreadful on so many levels

Grandma's Treasures

It came into my shop,
lesions marring the stretched leather.
The needle was broken;
years ago used to elevate
green army men above the tan forces.

The table turned erratically and
with a new needle
produced caterwauling
that was once Elvis.


Like I said, on so many levels. I mean, good God "caterwauling" and lesions... now I know why so many famous poets drink heavily... they read some of their old shit!

[This message has been edited by Nemo (edited May 16, 2002).]

[Melalope]

Robert: Cheating! To cheat there must be clearly defined rules! I didn't see anything about a time limit!

I can honestly say of the 50 or 60 poems I've written in the past six months since I started writing poetry (again or perhaps I should say 'for real' this time) I only have 2 I would say are "good" and "done." The rest linger in the caverns of computer storage waiting for me to either dump them or somehow fix them. Some are indeed hopeless. Here is one I think fits that catagory. So many to choose from...so little space...


What’s a heart good for anyway?
I remember when mine was all shiny,
Plump and unpicked not a bruise on it.
But then I dropped it on the floor,
For just anyone to kick about
And squish.

For the sake of safety
I tried to turn it to stone
But it just broke to pieces
So I added the water from my tears
Which created a mushy
Blob of red-pulsating emotions

Damn thing
Keeps getting loose,
It jumps out of my mouth
Slides down my sleeve,
Oops
There it goes again
Someone catch that thing!

What the hell…
Let’s toss it about a bit.
I’ve got bandages of all shapes and colors.
A tourniquet,elmers glue, scotch tape, staples
liquid cement, hot glue gun and a blow torch.
I keep these on hand anyway, just in case I fall


Can you smell the stink from this one? Whew!


Mel




[This message has been edited by Melalope (edited May 16, 2002).]

[Roger Slater]

POETIC AMBITION


Of all the bad poems that I should have exed
From my notebook, I declare
None to be worse than the poem I'll write next,
Though many are bad enough to compare.

[Robert Swagman]

Nance&Dickens

I like that one! Of course, that might be damning in itself...

Jerry

In apology for having submitted a looong and lousy poem,thereby taking away from time you could be devoting to your own work, I'm vying for the worst and shortest poem.

Who knew that quartz could cause warts?

[momdebomb]

There is no way I would ever dream of posting that saccharine bit of swill on Met 1.

I might be convinced to post it on the Deep End just to bug Alan though. Hehehe

------------------
Sharon P.
http://www.fischerpassmoredesign.com

[This message has been edited by momdebomb (edited May 18, 2002).]

[Solan]

As long as you post it somewhere, Sharon. As long as you post it.

------------------

-Svein Olav

[momdebomb]

Dear, sweet Svein,
It was in my H.S. literary mag. and that's enough for me. Really. :-D.

------------------
Sharon P.
http://www.fischerpassmoredesign.com