[John Whitworth]

I didn't compete in the Pretentious Tosh Stakes, which is just as well. The five winners were way beyond my competence. Bazza and Bill were worthily among them.

The new competition will surely have a huge take-up among Spherians.

No. 2669 Take two
You are invited to take one of Shakespeare’s soliloquies (please identify) and recast it in the style of the author of your choice. Verse or prose permitted: 16 lines/150 words max. Please email entries, where possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 13 October.