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01-21-2016, 03:34 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Whitworth
Surely everybody knows Bazza is at least three persons.
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I know of schizophrenia, but this is remarkable.
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01-21-2016, 05:19 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
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The countryside abounds in rustic charm-
I wonder why I've never been before?
I envy he who labours on a farm
Instead of punching keys behind a door.
I love the ‘zoidurrr’ and the hearty food,
The bawdy songs the locals like to sing,
Their readiness to frolic in the nude
Inside a sacred megalithic ring,
And how their wise old womenfolk attest
A swallowed shrew’s the thing to cure a wart.
Tomorrow, which is May Day, they request
I join them for a function of some sort.
I’ve heard a cryptic rumour that they plan
To introduce me to their 'wicker man’…?
Last edited by Rob Stuart; 01-22-2016 at 10:59 AM.
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01-21-2016, 05:52 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 7,201
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Rob,
I shall have nightmares tonight, now that you've reminded me about Wicker Man. That film totally freaks me out. Aaargghhh!!!!
But seriously, that's a terrific entry, with an unusual angle. I'd put money on it...
Jayne
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01-21-2016, 06:10 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
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Thank you Jayne. Sorry for the nightmares, though.
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01-21-2016, 08:28 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 8,682
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Rain
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Whitworth
Surely everybody knows Bazza is at least three persons.
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I know of schizophrenia, but this is remarkable.
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Nah, it's theology.
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02-01-2016, 04:49 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 7,201
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“Oh, you must come and visit me, Darling,
in this charming old cottage of mine.
I have a nice guest room,
in fact it’s the best room;
the view from it’s simply divine.”
So I went, leaving what I was used to:
city life with its permanent thrill.
My great-aunt was charming,
though it was alarming
how difficult days were to fill.
No, I’m sorry, I can’t hack the country:
the slow life, the silence as well.
That first time – and last time –
not my kind of pastime
at all. It’s as lonely as hell.
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02-02-2016, 05:52 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,503
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The country was at war. The men had gone,
And farmers needed help producing food,
So city-dwelling girls were called upon
To 'do their bit'. Although the work was rude,
Ophelia volunteered to be a Land Girl,
Her first time in the English countryside.
The farmer greeted her: "My, you're a grand girl!
There's much to learn; my son will be your guide."
One day, she asked him: "What are 'country matters'?"
The farmer's son was happy to explain,
And soon her clothes (and virtue) lay in tatters.
Later, she told him: "Well, they can't complain;
I've learnt to feed the piglets in their pens,
Muck out the stables, dig for victory,
Collect the eggs each morning from the hens . . .
I've 'done my bit'." He grinned, for so had he.
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02-02-2016, 07:41 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: The Borders, Andalucia and Italy
Posts: 1,537
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Plainly Jayne's lonely lady and Brian's farmer's boy should meet. Which one of you is going to write the tale?
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02-02-2016, 12:35 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: England
Posts: 188
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How pc is The Oldie?
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02-02-2016, 02:11 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Old South Wales (UK)
Posts: 6,780
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Hard to say, Alan, without knowing what you want to send in. A good way of judging the tone would be to scroll down through this forum and look at all the "results" threads Jayne has posted. That will give you a "feel" for the sort of thing that goes down well.
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