[John Isbell]

Would you care to sin
With Elinor Glyn
On a tiger skin?

Or would you prefer
To err with her
On some other fur?

Anon., i think.

I am the dean, and this is Mrs. Liddell;
She is the first, and I, the second fiddle.

I am the Lord Nathanael Curzon.
I am a most superior person.
My face is pink; my hair is sleek;
I dine at Blenheim twice a week.

The undergraduates of Balliol.

[David Anthony]

I am the Dean of Christ Church, Sir,
And here's my wife: look well on her.
She's the Broad and I'm the High: We are the University.

[John Isbell]

A Greek-English lexicon wrote Liddell and Scott;
Some parts were clever, and some parts were not.

Cheers,
John

[Matt Q]

Comment
Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song
A medley of extemporanea
And love is a thing that can never go wrong
And I am Marie of Roumania


You fit into me
Margaret Atwood

you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

[Roger Slater]

A wealth of cute short poems can be found by Googling "Burma Shave." Here's an example. Here's another. Poems like this one:

MY JOB IS
KEEPING FACES CLEAN
AND NOBODY KNOWS
DE STUBBLE I’VE SEEN

[John Isbell]

Comment #21 has a link to "90 BRILLIANT BURMA SHAVE SIGNS," which is quite handy.

Cheers,
John

[Roger Slater]

Sorry, John. I didn't notice that before I posted.

The Washington Post Style Invitational had a contest to write new Burma Shave style jingles. Here are the results:

Why exercise
To get a date?
WE’LL do the push-ups;
YOU’LL look great!
Wonderbra.
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Tip for new drivers
In the Sunshine State:
Blinker on means
Going straight.
AARP.
(David Ballard, Reston, Va.)

On a bridge
With breezes wafting,
Drive carefully
Or you’ll be rafting.
(Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)

Sure, do your makeup!
That should please
The first responding
EMTs.
(Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

Kerouwhacked: Honorable mentions
The same-sex marriage
Path is cleared,
So now’s the time
To lose your beard.
Burma-Shave.
(Brendan Beary)

Lather up
So you can stop
Approximating
ZZ Top.
Burma-Shave.
(Mike Caslin, Round Hill, Va.)

Life is tough
And that’s for sure —
Luckily
We have the cure!
Philip Morris.
(Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

He watched the female
Jogger’s keister;
With eyes off road,
He predeceased her.
(Brendan Beary)

dont txt an driv
or u wl b
not LOL
but OMG.
(Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

No longer alive,
Since, sadly, he blundered:
He thought 95
Was the Indy Five Hunderd.
(Mae Scanlan, Washington)

Sex at the wheel
Is horribly risky,
So hire a driver
Before you get frisky.
Acme Limo Service.
(Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)

Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
Knows how to beep.
No-Doz.
(Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

If, Mrs. Sprat,
You choose to fly,
Please greet your mate
Like this: “Jack! Hi!”
TSA.
(Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)

You drink champagne
And dine on partridge?
If so, you can
Afford our cartridge.
HP Printers.
(John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)

An ample breast,
A supple thigh.
Come on in
And watch us fry!
KFC.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Congressman Weiner
Has resigned,
But we still have
The other kind.
Massengill.
(Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)

We know you now
Depend on us —
So please don’t leave
For Google+.
Facebook.
(Stephen Litterst, Newark, Del.)

The call of FarmVille
Never ends
From all your so-called
Facebook friends.
Google+.
(Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

And last:
Lady Bird,
Don’t spin distressed,
We’re only doing
This in jest.
— The Style Invitational. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

[Julie Steiner]

The late Bill Knott has several short poems I like in his self-published Selected Poems 1960-2013. A few:

FOOTNOTE

All of us who lived on Earth
and all our loves and wars
may not appear at all
in the moon's memoirs.

SECURITY

If I had a magic carpet
I'd keep it
Floating always
Right in front of me
Perpendicular, like a door.

TO X

You're like a scissors
popsicle I don't know to
whether jump back
or lick

SLUM SCENE

poor children sharing
back and forth their one
set of Dracula's teeth--
here even the dead
live hand to mouth

POEM

Even when the streets are empty,
even at night, the stopsign
tells the truth.

IN SLEEP

We brush the other, invisible moon.
Its caves come out and carry us inside.

[UNTITLED]

Fingerprints look like ripples
because time keeps dropping
another stone into our palm.

INTHREADABLE

each snowflake's
a maze
whose center
no other flake can find
the ways
to enter

MINOR POEM

The only response
to a child's grave is
to lie down before it and play dead.

[Jack Land]

deleted April 21

[Max Goodman]

Grooks
by Piet Hein

[Keeping literally to the line limit, I've omitted several very short grooks of six or more lines written in fewer words than some of these.]

Timing Toast

Grook on how to char for yourself

There's an art to knowing when.
Never try to guess.
Toast until it smokes and then
twenty seconds less.

*

Abreast

He who aims
to keep abreast
is for ever
second best.

*

Gospel Truth

People
take for gospel
things that are
imposs'ble.

***

Quiblets
by Edmund Conti

Bedroominating

I think there
four a.m.

*

On Drowning

I sink
therefore
I was.

*

Lost in Translation

perdu

*

The Problem with Bigamy

Sex with one and
half-dozin' with the other.