[R E Bolick]

Funny one, Jim.

Would you happen to have a serious one about one of the Wild Geese? Thomas Meagher, James Turner ("Gallowglass"), Patrick Felan Clooney, Patrick Cleburne?

Latest summary of rules:

No more blazers of the Cumberland Gap.
No more exterminators cum naturalists
No more Vice Presidents
No more South Carolinians
No more early talkies stars.
No more Sixties pop stars.
No more cannibals.
No more clothing merchants. Sorry, Wanamaker, Macy, and Roebuck.
No more New England poets.

Relatives by blood or marriage of previously accepted figures are allowed.
No changes to the subject of previous submissions.
Edits to meter, rhyme, diction, and punctuation allowed.
Multiple submissions allowed.

ToC so far:
Agnew
Audubon
Boone,
Fields, W.C.
Frost
Khaury, Herbert Buckingham (aka Tiny Tim; tentative) Marion, Francis
Packer, Alferd (ranked funniest so far
Strauss brothers (Levis, not waltzes).


------------------
BobB

[Jan D. Hodge]

Okay, judge(s), quibble with this one (perhaps because it does not name its subject in the title? or uses abab rhyme rather than xaxa?). At least it is a serious one.

Christmas 1776

He took dead aim at Britain’s crown
across the river gorge.
The Hessians bled in Camden town;
it warmed at Valley Forge.

Damn! It's about a general who became president (on an earlier "restrictions" list, but not the latest). Talk about Calvinball! So scratch it. I'll go island hopping.




[This message has been edited by Jan D. Hodge (edited May 31, 2006).]

[Peter Chipman]

OK, OK. So the judges don't like my Adamses. How about this one?:

Bierstadt

His canvases are vast, but they
Are hints at landscapes vaster still;
The wildernesses they portray
Escape the landscape painter's skill.

[Lightning Bug]

Joe Griesedieck

He founded a domestic brew -
that's not a minor claim.
But everybody giggled
every time he said his name.

[Kate Benedict]

Susan B. Anthony

She lobbied hard, oh she had balls.
Her oratory sizzled.
She changed the world at Seneca Falls.
Her dollar coin fizzled.

[R E Bolick]

Hey, folks -- There's no restriction on women. This chapbook is beginning to feel like the boys' treehouse. So, here's one for

Rosa Parks (1913-2005)

The bus has stopped for Rosa Parks.
She takes her customed seat.
Now angels nod when she declares,
"Montgomery's air is sweet."

Jan, Come back! Bugsy withdrew Grant when he switched to W.C. Fields, so Georgie boy is in. Tricorners off to a fine quatrain. No restriction on the rhyme scheme, by the way. I just happened to kick it off with xaxa. Your entry rules out Presidents with wooden teeth.

Bugsy, how many six-packs is that this morning? Ok, you've scored one more, but you should edit LL2&4 to even up the syllable count. No more beer brewers.

And Roger, what is in your orange juice this morning? The glove didn't fit, which is a hint for another subject!

Sorry, Peter, scrolling two screens and chewing gum is taxing. I missed your Adamses. So good and so pointed that the judges have hereby amended the "No more Vice Presidents" rule to "No more Vice Presidents who never became President." Of course your splendid addition rules out any more father-son Presidents, together or separately. And your Bierstadt more than makes the grade.


Latest summary of rules:

No more blazers of the Cumberland Gap (Boone)
No more exterminators cum naturalists (Audubon)
No more Vice Presidents who never became President (Agnew)
No more Presidents who were generals with wooden teeth (Washington)
No more father-son President combos (Adamses)
No more South Carolinians (F. Marion)
No more early talkies stars (W.C. Fields)
No more Sixties pop stars (Tiny Tim)
No more cannibals (Alferd Packer)
No more clothing merchants. (Levis, sorry, Wanamaker, Macy, and Roebuck)
No more Vermont poets who couldn't decide between fire and ice (R. Frost)
No more beer brewers (J. Griesedieck)
No more White Mountain painters whose name begins with a "B" (A. Bierstadt, that leaves Thomas Cole et al.)
No more Afro-American female civil rights figures

Relatives by blood or marriage of previously accepted figures are allowed.
No changes to the subject of previous submissions.
Edits to meter, rhyme, diction, and punctuation allowed.
Multiple submissions allowed.

ToC so far:

Adams, J.J. & Adams, J.Q.
Agnew, S.
Audubon, J.J.
Bierstadt, A
Boone, D.
Fields, W.C.
Frost, R.
Griesedieck, J.
Khaury, Herbert Buckingham (aka Tiny Tim; tentative) Marion, Francis
Packer, Alferd (ranked funniest so far)
Parks, Rosa
Strauss brothers (Levis, not waltzes)
Washington, George

[Michael Cantor]

"The Fucking Stupidest Man on the Face of the Earth"

Said Tommy Franks of Douglas Feith,
who thrived on warlike talk,
but never walked the walk himself:
neo-con and Chicken Hawk.

[David Anthony]

Said Bentsen, “You’re no Kennedy”.
What pygmies now prevail
I thought, while watching Bush perform:
he isn’t even Quayle.

[R E Bolick]

Sorry, Kate, we must have cross-posted. You and Susan are on the island, but does L4 scan or balance with L2? No more suffragettes who made it onto coins.

Ah, Mr. Moderator Anthony (any relation to above?), I saw your name and wondered if the jig was up, but was delighted with the addition of Senator Bentsen, and the clever use of him to sneak in the living. No more Texans who ran and lost as VP candidate.

Sorry, Michael, although the judges sympathized heavily with the politics, the rule is the subject must be dead and not just between the ears.

Latest summary of rules:

Must be a deceased American of note.
No more blazers of the Cumberland Gap (Boone)
No more exterminators cum naturalists (Audubon)
No more Vice Presidents who never became President (Agnew)
No more Presidents who were generals with wooden teeth (Washington)
No more father-son President combos (Adamses)
No more South Carolinians (F. Marion)
No more early talkies stars (W.C. Fields)
No more Sixties pop stars (Tiny Tim)
No more cannibals (Alferd Packer)
No more clothing merchants. (Levis, sorry, Wanamaker, Macy, and Roebuck)
No more Vermont poets who couldn't decide between fire and ice (R. Frost)
No more beer brewers (J. Griesedieck)
No more White Mountain painters whose name begins with a "B" (A. Bierstadt, that leaves Thomas Cole et al.)
No more Afro-American female civil rights figures
No more suffragettes who made it onto coins (S.B. Anthony)
No more Texans who ran and lost as VP candidate (L. Bentsen)

Relatives by blood or marriage of previously accepted figures are allowed.
No changes to the subject of previous submissions.
Edits to meter, rhyme, diction, and punctuation allowed.
Multiple submissions allowed.

ToC so far:

Adams, J.J. & Adams, J.Q.
Agnew, S.
Anthony, Susan B.
Audubon, J.J.
Bentsen, Lloyd
Bierstadt, A
Boone, D.
Fields, W.C.
Frost, R.
Griesedieck, J.
Khaury, Herbert Buckingham (aka Tiny Tim; tentative) Marion, Francis
Packer, Alferd (ranked funniest so far)
Parks, Rosa
Strauss brothers (Levis, not waltzes)
Washington, George

[Jan D. Hodge]

Paradox

The wealthy bitched because there were
too many on the dole,
while Margaret Sanger was condemned
for preaching birth control.

[This message has been edited by Jan D. Hodge (edited May 31, 2006).]