[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Naked Spring

Spring’s dropped Her icy shawl of snow
to dance about in birthday clothes
and prove Her mangos never froze,
all firm and ripe and Hers to show!

The elephants let all men know
and trumpet it from every nose,
“Spring’s dropped Her icy shawl of snow
to dance about in birthday clothes!”

The rivulets and streams all glow
like naked Spring, whose springs arose
like water from a garden hose
that was unkinked, so bare your toes,
Spring’s dropped Her icy shawl of snow!

[This message has been edited by Kevin Andrew Murphy (edited January 30, 2005).]

[Susan McLean]

Kevin, that's a hoot.

Susan

[A. E. Stallings]

Ha!

[Daniel Haar]

I wrote this a while ago, sort of a spicy, free adaptation of the original. Mine, however, seems to be mild spice compared with Kevin's. I hadn't posted it, as I knew that many people around here have given this one a go, and done quite a good job at that. However, this seems an appropriate place to share.

Spring Show
after Charles d'Orleans

Nature has flouted grace
To shed her snow sarong,
Baring her petaled thong
And demi of leaf lace.

Aroused, bees and birds race
Toward her with slavered song:
"Nature has flouted grace
To shed her snow sarong."

Each verdant, valleyed place
Turns cabaret, where wrong
Ravishes young who long
For her round hills' embrace –
Nature has flouted grace.


[This message has been edited by Daniel Haar (edited January 30, 2005).]

[David Anthony]

I landed myself in it a while ago, and without a paddle, by deleting people who posted their own work to Mastery; so I'll be wary about doing that again.

I do wonder, though, whether we're not being a little presumptuous, having regard to the Mastery definition:

"The tradition of the masters: the classics & how they did it."

Isn't there another board (General, perhaps) where our own poems could be posted, exploring a theme, or a form, without fear of the accusation of vaingloriousness?

Best regards,

David

[Janet Kenny]

David,
Quite right. We have sinned. The problem with this form is that there are very few "masterly" poems--I except Thomas Hardy and Sam Gwynn. We can get too respectful of warm soup. We recognise "Mastery" in our water. I think we were moved to post our own because despite attempts to be respectful there wasn't much of substance to respect. We all thought "I can do this".
We are often in danger of too much respect to something published on paper. We sanctify it by suggesting that we see subtleties and profundities which the less observant have missed. I think natural forces were at work in this thread.
best,
Janet

[This message has been edited by Janet Kenny (edited January 30, 2005).]

[Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Well, the topic is "Musing on Mastery," not "Masterful Poems Only" or "Poems by Master Poets Only."

I think we can all crack open our books and find second-rate Dickinson and Frost, and even Shakespeare's less fully realized sonnets, and I think it's fair to say that those luminaries would probably agree--you'd be hard pressed to find any writer equally pleased with all their work.

Musing about a particular form means citing examples, and posting your own for discussion of the form. I threw my first rondeau over to the Deep End for actual critique, but I think it's fair in a literary salon, after discussing what masterworks we could find for a less popular form, to toss out a few of our own experiments.

[A. E. Stallings]

I personally would like this forum to be renamed (perhaps Shop Talk, or some such), but that is another matter. We do discuss masterworks here, and mastery, but also it is a place for discussing technique, genres, and works of other (non-member) poets. I think as fruitful a discussion can occur about why a poem doesn't work for us as why something is a masterpiece.

In discussing a form--what it is, what makes it successful or not--it seems reasonable that people can discuss their own experiences with it. I am not troubled by these examples here.

Discussing members' work as "mastery" is another matter, though, and I do discourage that, since it is awkward for the poet under discussion and since I don't think it allows for much candor when the subject is reading over our shoulder.

OK--back to your regularly scheduled program--

[Michael Juster]

Oh, I think we're being a little hard on ourselves. I think a fun discussion veered off into some frolic, as all my recent posts on The Deep End seem to have done, so I'm not too worried about it, but if I have a deaf ear on the general point and "rules" for the future, I'm sure (sigh...) someone will let me know.

[Roger Slater]

Does anyone have a copy of (or link to) the d'Orleans thread where everyone posted their versions? I don't seem to have it, and I'm trying to locate a copy of the second version I seem to remember posting, as well as review all the versions that everyone contributed. I can't find it using the "search" function. Thanks.