[Jayne Osborn]

Discreet and debonaire? Moi?

Au contraire: "That lovely Levens"

Jayne

[Marion Shore]

I'm still not clear on the pseudonym thing: if, say, you submit two pieces, one under a a different name, should you be up front with Lucy that it is a pseudonym? Or, do you submit it under a false identity, with a different e-mail (my son's, for instance). Then, suppose multiple entries win, the payments would have to be made to different identities, yes? This could become financially complicated, involving things like money laundering and Swiss Bank accounts, couldn't it?

The question is purely hypothetical. I'm lucky to get a mensch!

[Marion Shore]

The Joys of Envy

Though envy turns you sour
and fills your heart with bile,
there comes a shining hour
that makes it all worthwhile,

when those you envy stumble,
their names dragged through the mud,*
when fame and fortune crumble,
my God, does that feel good!


*Alternate line: (remember Tiger Woods?)

[Roger Slater]

Gluttony

When I have eaten so much food
my stomach just might burst,
and drunk a dozen beers beyond
the dictates of my thirst,

when I have eaten chicken, squab,
turkey, goose and sparrow,
when I have licked the platters clean
and sucked the bones of marrow,

when I am weak from having dined
and reeling from consumption,
I take a break from dinner but
I dream of its resumption

the minute that my stomach clears.
You see, I do love eating.
And anything worth doing once,
I say, is worth repeating.

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by Marion Shore

I'm still not clear on the pseudonym thing: if, say, you submit two pieces, one under a a different name, should you be up front with Lucy that it is a pseudonym? Or, do you submit it under a false identity, with a different e-mail (my son's, for instance). Then, suppose multiple entries win, the payments would have to be made to different identities, yes? This could become financially complicated, involving things like money laundering and Swiss Bank accounts, couldn't it?

The question is purely hypothetical. I'm lucky to get a mensch!

Marion, I think you can do it either way (or both). I've won under false identities (Jayne will tell you how close a friend of mine has come to being kneecapped because of those weeks that he won when he wasn't supposed to). Financially, there's no problem - he hands over the winnings. Getting the glory back from him is more difficult.

I've also won - but this was back in the 1970's - using recognizable pseudonyms.

I'm inclined to think that you shouldn't submit more than two entries that are recognizably you. After that (for three or more), it may be more judicious to indulge in a bit of identity-theft.

Since my "comeback" (after a 35-year absence, I tend to think of myself as the Rip van Winkle * of the competition world), I haven't actually won anything using a "me" pseudonym, but I did get an honourable mention as "Alan Birglar".

Brian Allgar

* I asked my wife whether "The Sleeping Beauty of the competition world" wouldn't be a better phrase. She looked at me for a long moment, and then said "If I were you, I'd stick to Rip van Winkle".

[Marion Shore]

Of all the seven deadly sins
I like sloth the best--
It makes you much too lazy
to bother with the rest.

[Brian Allgar]

Roger, that's terrific! Just reading it makes me salivate.

[Jayne Osborn]

Marion, I think Rip Van Winkle's right.

There doesn't quite seem to be a definitive answer to the pseudonym question, but it's impossible to cash a cheque with a pseudonym on it, for security reasons. You can't take it to the bank and protest loudly "But... Iona Ferrari is really ME; I won a competition and this is my prize!!!"

Therefore... you can either submit one, two, or however many entries, in your own name; 'give' some of your entries to friends or family who, should 'they' win, will duly receive payment and hand it back to you - one hopes! ; or you can submit multiple entries but tell Lucy that, in the event of her awarding you more than one prize, your other name(s) is(are)...

My own take on it is this: knowing that the postbag is large, it seems greedy to send Lucy loads of poems. Send one or two, as yourself, and opt for quality over quantity.
(You might want to prove you're a brilliant poet by sending her a dozen or more entries to one comp, but so what? She's not going to be swayed by that.)

Jayne

[Roger Slater]

The fact that some contests limit you to three entries, to give a recent example, indicates to me that the other contests do not limit you.

I have often sent in as many as eight or nine entries, and it doesn't seem to affect the outcome. Indeed, when (as is usually the case) I do not win after I send in a lot of entries, I tend to get an honorable mention, which I interpret as a nod to my effort if not my quality.

The one thing I don't think is a good idea is to get real people to misrepresent that they are the author of your entry and to have them receive checks and forward the prize to you. A pseudonym is one thing, but lying about authorship and laundering money is another.

[John Whitworth]

I always give my real address at the top. The pseudonyms are under the poems. Then Lucy need only use them if I have won more than once. I don't think I ever have.