[Peter Goulding]

If the task is "to re-write Slough," does that imply you stick to the AAAB CCCB rhyme?

I've reserved my ire for Killarney but not in that rhyme scheme. Should I re-write?

[Jayne Osborn]

Peter,

Firstly, a warm welcome to Eratosphere, and especially to D & A.

There are no hard and fast rules, as such, for The Speccie comp (apart from 16 lines max and keeping to the theme), though to "re-write" a poem would seem to indicate that a parody is called for, in my opinion. But you don't necessarily have to keep to the original rhyme scheme!

I would suggest that you submit your Killarney entry as it is; you can always offer Lucy an alternative version as well

Good luck.

Jayne

[John Whitworth]

Peter, Multiple submissions are not only in order, they increase your chances of winning. Don't forget to use an alias but alwy give your own name and address.

[Chris O'Carroll]

Originally Posted by Peter Goulding

If the task is "to re-write Slough," does that imply you stick to the AAAB CCCB rhyme?

I've reserved my ire for Killarney but not in that rhyme scheme. Should I re-write?

Based on my own losing and winning experiences in comparable comps, I'd bet that all the prizes will go to poems that replicate Betjeman's meter and rhyme scheme. (If I'm wrong about what the judge is looking for, it won't be the first time. That's why I have losing as well as winning experience to draw on.)

[Jayne Osborn]

I'm sure you're right, Chris, that a Betjemanesque version is called for here.
"Slough" has such a distinctive metre and rhyme scheme that I can't really see that a re-write could be done in anything other than the same ones.

But you never know...

Nothing in life (or poetry) surprises me any more!

Jayne

[Brian Allgar]

Well, I hope there's a bit of leeway. I stuck to the rhyme-scheme, and to the metre, except that my fourth lines were slightly longer than the original 4-syllable ones ... I used an extra foot, in which I may have shot myself.

[Brian Allgar]

(This seems a good opportunity to have another go at my bete noire)

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Gates,
The man whom every user hates
For putting us in desperate straits -
Admit it, you do!

When Windows hits the “screen of death”,
We grit our teeth and hold our breath,
Or growl some Luddite shibboleth
And turn to voodoo.

A little figure made of wax
Impaled with pins or carpet-tacks;
Yet somehow this solution lacks
A proper blitz.

So tumble, bombs, your goal awaits,
Obliterate his solid states,
And, like his software, let’s see Gates
Reduced to bits.

[Douglas G. Brown]

Brian,
Brilliant! This ought to win first prize.

[Jerome Betts]

Yes, nice one, Brian. Love 'Luddite shibboleth'! (Capital L as from name Ludd?)

Slight stumble in Line 4?

[Janice D. Soderling]

D&A is the best board on the Internet. What a collection of witty, lovable, laughable. disrespectful. international TALENT.