[Nigel Mace]

Since the complaints about this piece's failure to follow the well understood traditions of the sonnet - note plural, and therefore not absolutely fixed - are heavily outnumbered by those who seem to rejoice in its disregard of the form, what on earth is getting you so exercised, Nemo? From the word "tsunami" on, this is an intemperate rant filled with derogatory phrasings.

Whatever the form followed or neglected in this poem, it remains a very slight set of observations which may be evocative to some but, like all such 'memory' pieces, risks being fleetingly identifiable, if at all, to others. Not, of course, a reason to avoid such poems which will always have some charms for some people - but not a very grand ground on which to stand when slighting a traditional form, especially when this is supposed to be the focus of the exercise.

As to the, now thoroughly, 'dated' call to the 'new', I was just reading Pushkin's "Onegin" and enjoying (in the translation available to me) the reflection that there was "nothing new within the new".

[R. Nemo Hill]

I'm not referring just to this thread, Nigel.

Nemo

[Michael Cantor]

Sorry about getting to the Bake-Off so late.

I think this is a wonderful sonnet, and can't understand the fuss about the word "shift" or about whether this poem is, indeed, a fully qualified and certified sonnet, in accord with all the official criteria brayed across the internet by varied Guardians of the Sonnet, or whether the writer should be excommunicated and tortured. It has joy, passion and flow, the vague slants and irregular meter work perfectly within the spirit of the poem, it is a tight short story and character study, it gets up off its ass and pushes the boundaries and possibilities of the musical short story that comprises a sonnet, and it does it well.

"Shift" is a work shift, a dress, a restlesness - or all of the above - and it signals that this is not your grandmother's sonnet. Hurrah!

There is a perfect break at L9. The sonnet jumps a fence, and the viewpoint changes. What more do you want? Bravo!

[James Watkins]

I think this sums it up: the poem has joy, passion and flow. How often do we see that in a piece of writing that is also intelligent, thoughtful and well-crafted? It's fun to pick nits, we all do it, but let's not do it at the expense of joy, passion, and flow.

[Brian Watson]

Everybody else probably knew this, but I didn't, until I checked the dictionary expecting a negative answer: volta and vault come from the same root. So there's a bit of a pun in the volta ocurring where she jumps the fence. Sorry if that was already obvious to one and all -- the penny takes a while to drop.

Anyway, this one's a grower.