[Jayne Osborn]

Now, here's a thing - I've just dug out the old 'Oldie' with my 1st winning bouts-rimés in it, and one of the other prize-winners used the word 'share' instead of 'spare'. Hardly fair!!

I tend to be punctilious, so in my opinion that entry ought to have been disqualified. As John says, rules are rules. The WHOLE POINT of a bouts-rimés competition is that you employ the given words.....isn't it???

[Roger Slater]

Well, I agree with you on that one, Jayne, because there's no plausible interpretation under which that would qualify. But there most certainly is a plausible interpretation to allow the target word to be the latter part of a longer word -- it's the kind of thing that is done all the time in repeating forms like sestinas, villanelles and triolets, and in a way, a boute-rime is just another form for us to write in. Apart from the Oldie, I have seen boute-rimes do this fairly often.

[Julie Steiner]

That final day, he acted undepressed.
What fools we were—cavorting in the rain
of pleasantries he pattered, when the strain
of Nathan's silences had scorched our nest
all summer. What relief to now be blest
with banter! But the flame by which he chain-
smoked ceaselessly still smouldered in his brain.
Scattered showers can’t put hell to rest.

That final day, he knew the furnace-blast
would soon consume him. We'd be left to wilt
in grief, and so he watered us all day.
How artfully—but futilely—he built
a falsely cheerful fountain, so our past
might seem less arid where his body lay.


(Yeah, yeah, I know I've probably overdone the enjambment again.
L13 was "that irrigation system"--is "that artificial fountain" an improvement?)

[Martin Elster]

If the judge overlooks an outright breaking of the rules (the wrong word), then there's nothing we can do about it. But Jayne is right about it not being fair. Roger is right about having the liberty to "allow the target word to be the latter part of a longer word."

I was also wondering if a homonym is allowed. For instance using filet for lay. The stem of the words sounds the same. So, is it just the printed form or can sound matter?

[Martin Elster]

The Creature

At last I’m feeling somewhat undepressed
strolling with Rachel through the drizzling rain,
recalling our reaction to that strain —
that otherworldly warbling — from its nest
up in the elm tree near our home. We’re blest
to have escaped its talons. Such a chain
of strange occurrences. The creature’s brain
must have been something! Finally we rest
assured that it is gone. The thing could blast
right through a rock, and make a maple wilt
by simply looking at it. Every day
it flew through every wall of what we’d built.
But we thrashed it with our thoughts and, as we passed
its prostrate body, squashed it where it lay.

[Spindleshanks]

Martin, that's the wrong "past." You want the verb "passed," which might pass if hononyms are acceptable. I wouldn't count on it.

Peter

[Martin Elster]

Originally Posted by Spindleshanks

Martin, that's the wrong "past." You want the verb "passed," which might pass if hononyms are acceptable. I wouldn't count on it.

Peter

Oops! You're right, Peter. Thanks! My mind is getting muddled by all this thinking. I might keep the hononym and see if they accept it. I've got enough poems now to take that chance. Here is another I just came up with. (I'm not sure about the title yet. Maybe there's something better.)

That’s Life

The giant star was feeling undepressed
by gravity, until a violent rain
of matter started falling. Trying to strain
against the pressure squeezing on her nest,
she quickly lost, imploding. We are blest
to have such catastrophic blasts, whose chain
of elements makes life, a complex brain,
the sea, the atmosphere, and all the rest
of the miracles on Earth. A violent blast
like that would make this fragile planet wilt
were such a sun too close. But thank the day
when the ashes from a beast like that had built
this world, whose star will soon enough be past
her mid-life — something no one can delay.

*

lines 11-12 were

were such a sun too close. But every day
say thanks to that time bomb for what it’s built:

[Mary Meriam]

removed for tinkering

[Julie Steiner]

Hi, Mary! I like yours, right up to the penultimate word; the ultimate word wants to be the intransitive "lie" rather than the transitive "lay". Maybe something about "all the eggs I lay" instead?

[Martin Elster]

Hi Mary,

I like your poem. Your unique style comes through no matter what you write!

I was going to say something about that last line, but now you've fixed it and it's much better.

Martin