Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Unread 07-12-2005, 05:15 PM
Mary Moore's Avatar
Mary Moore Mary Moore is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Gladwyne, PA, U.S.A.
Posts: 1,887
Post

This will be cute when you're done. = You may have thought you posted a poem but it looks half-baked to me.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Unread 07-12-2005, 06:23 PM
Dan Halberstein Dan Halberstein is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,479
Post

I smirked out loud at Le Deep End, c'est moi.

Apres moi le dessert,

Dan
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Unread 07-14-2005, 03:45 AM
Mark Granier Mark Granier is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 572
Post

This may be interesting writing, but is it a poem? = Shit, sorry, I've just committed a mortal sin, haven't I?
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Unread 07-14-2005, 04:19 AM
Mark Granier Mark Granier is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 572
Post

Quote:
Sometimes minor flaws can even enhance a poem.
Nash, flaws are certainly forgivable, and inevitable, as poets (the ones I know anyway) are merely mortals. But I don't see how flaws, minor or otherwise, might "enhance" a poem, unless you consider near-perfection to be somehow suspect.

One can be put off by poems which appear too polished. I would imagine though, that in such cases either one is correct, and the poems are too surface-slick for their own good (in other words flawed), or one is too easily intimidated by a well-constructed poem.

Of course, if you're religious you might consider near-perfection to be an insult to your god. Derek Mahon put this case beautifully in his poem 'Lives':

The time that I liked
Best was when
I was a bump of clay

In a Navaho rug,
Put there to mitigate
The too god-like

Perfection of that
Merely human artifact...



[This message has been edited by Mark Granier (edited July 14, 2005).]
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Unread 07-14-2005, 08:03 AM
Nash Mason Nash Mason is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Panyu, GD, China (from USA)
Posts: 94
Post

Mark,

You make an excellent point. = I pretty much agree but I feel like being difficult.

It raises the question of just what a flaw is. = I'm avoiding the point now.

Next I'll try to distract you with a vaguely related tale.

I had a large painting of mine mounted on foam core that got damaged moving once. So I tore the whole thing into several smaller pieces, then wired them back together with thick wire and fine steel thread. I used a little more paint to make those rips just a bit more gruesome.. I like the painting even better now. I can find perfection in virtually anything but of course there is still always room for improvement.

So, now I have basically contradicted myself.. My perspectives change day to day, in part on account of what you say. My point was more about finding flaws that aren't really there because of the pressure to give a respectable crit here. From another perspective it is probably good, as motivation to really look close - a subtle change can make a big difference (for better or worse). I still think being honest about what we like is important also though.

-nash
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Unread 07-14-2005, 01:32 PM
Roy Carr Roy Carr is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Mansfield, Texas
Posts: 243
Post

0 <--- may not be a perfect circle. But it's a perfect whatever it is.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Unread 07-15-2005, 07:49 AM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,202
Post

Apologies if I've misread this. It's your poem = Only a fool would ignore my Critique of Death.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited July 15, 2005).]
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Unread 07-15-2005, 11:16 AM
Robert Pecotte's Avatar
Robert Pecotte Robert Pecotte is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Cavalier, ND
Posts: 633
Post

Critic's comment:

What I think you’re trying to say is = as if you have any thoughts worth writing about…get a clue.


Author's reaction:

What I think you’re trying to say is = what I was trying to say is what I said…get a clue.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Unread 07-15-2005, 07:37 PM
Robin-Kemp Robin-Kemp is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Forest Park, GA USA
Posts: 539
Post

Have you considered cutting some adjectives? = This is a string of vagaries and generalizations!
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Unread 07-15-2005, 08:23 PM
Rose Kelleher's Avatar
Rose Kelleher Rose Kelleher is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 3,745
Post

I've had it with this place! = See y'all next week
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,511
Total Threads: 22,662
Total Posts: 279,468
There are 1224 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online