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  #11  
Unread 01-28-2021, 12:53 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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What good work, Ann. You make it so pretty I think I will take Jayne up on sending it for the D & A Board to look at. I've never had anything there . In fact it's only a month or so that I have been following my daughter's urging to get back into making poems. When my wife died in 2016 I was do devastated that poetry lost interest for me, then Parkinson's came along and started blanking my memory---but now I find doing poems is good therapy.
I have the four now in these two fora, two others ready and four more almost ready, If I last long enough, maybe another book that nobody but my friends will read. Who remembers...

Hello..Hello?

Yearly the world is nearly drowned in books
of poetry at which nobody looks,
except, perhaps, the poets and their friends.
I'd like to know where all this scribbling ends,
for when it stops and new poetry is rare
this book, dear reader........reader, are you there?


Gracias, Ann, Jayne,... and readers

Last edited by Golias; 01-28-2021 at 12:57 AM.
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  #12  
Unread 01-28-2021, 01:32 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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What good fixing of this piece, Ann. Didn't know about the whiting trick; You have made it so neat I think I will take Jayne's suggestion and send it to the D & A board.

I had written a much longer reply, but I lost it somehow. My memory does not go back to the time I hung out here and had learned the ropes.

But many thanks to you for this help, and likewise to Jayne.

Wiley
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  #13  
Unread 01-28-2021, 01:48 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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I have twice tried to make a reply to Ann for her really good solution to the problem of shaping this piece. Both replies disappeared, then showed up as a duplication, though they were not at all alike. I will wait to see what happens, if anything,

Wiley (Golias)
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  #14  
Unread 01-28-2021, 02:19 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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I give up on the previous reply attempts, Ann, Jayne. Heres my effort to sharpen the spear point:



Projected federal deficit spending, trade imbalances impending
.....and great unlikelihood of mending make it nearly sure
...........our dollar’s value would dramatically decline.
...............An unemployed working man may pay
...................two hundred for a bottle of wine
.......................and buy no more than two
..........................eighty-one dollar eggs
..............................for a hungry wife
.................................and his child
....................................who beg
.....................................not to
.......................................die
................................. .


How embarasing! My previous replies only came over to the second page.

Last edited by Golias; 01-28-2021 at 07:27 AM. Reason: confusion
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  #15  
Unread 01-28-2021, 05:26 AM
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Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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How's this, Wiley? I just whited-out the dots for you again, as Annie did.

It looks good now. Well done, and it's great that you're writing poems again.

Jayne

Projected federal deficit spending, trade imbalances impending
.....and great unlikelihood of mending make it nearly sure
...........our dollar’s value would dramatically decline.
...............An unemployed working man may pay
...................two hundred for a bottle of wine
.......................and buy no more than two
..........................eighty-one dollar eggs
..............................for a hungry wife
.................................and his child
....................................who beg
.....................................not to
.......................................die
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  #16  
Unread 01-28-2021, 07:59 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Good morning, Jayne,
With your expertise you and Ann have contributed as much as I to this project.. After my appointment with my cute little Chinese/American geriatrician this noon I will come back and try to figure out how to send it to the D&A board---or you can send it as a Deep End workshop 3-person product, if you like and have time.

Ĝis revid for now

Wiley

Last edited by Golias; 01-28-2021 at 11:11 AM.
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  #17  
Unread 01-29-2021, 12:17 PM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is online now
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Ni vidos vin plu - on D&A
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  #18  
Unread 01-30-2021, 07:20 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Default Thanks, Jayne

for moving my poem in its best shape to the D&A board, where it was quickly eclipsed by a perfect star shaped piece. That's "bone kun mi" which is the easy Esperanto title of the next poem I will post on the Deep End before too long.

best,
Wiley
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  #19  
Unread 02-09-2021, 08:45 PM
Bill Marsh Bill Marsh is offline
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I looked up POLIDICTION in my search engine, and the only response was your poem on Eratosphere! Maybe some day it will be in the OED, and your poem will be referenced as the first recorded use!

I liked the first unpolished version the best because it is angrier and it is an angry poem.
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  #20  
Unread 02-10-2021, 07:14 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Thanks, Bill. I suppose too much striving for novelty shape dilutes message of the original. Thanks, too for the search engine info. Polidiction is my run-together of political and prediction.
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