[Rick Mullin]

Genera

There has to be a breed of cat
that crosses into dog,
a snake whose eyes inform us that
its mother was a frog.

There must be something to the snail
that frames the fish within.
A crink in the amoeba’s tale
that spells LEVIATHAN.

The monkey, sloth and marmoset
who battle for a tree
would live as one if God could get
another crack at me.

___

"tale" in stanza 2 was "tail"

"live in peace" was "coexist"

Original title: Animals


.

[Carl Copeland]

This is fun, Rick. A few thoughts:

Websites disagree about what “crink” means, whether it’s a verb or a noun and whether it’s a valid Scrabble word. One source even says it’s a hybrid of “crick” and “kink.” Wouldn’t you be better off with the latter?

I’d be spoiling the fun if I worried about evolutionary accuracy (not exactly my forte), but it bothers me a little that, as far as I know, amoebas don’t have tails/flagella. (The marmoset, btw, is a monkey, but that didn’t bother me because I didn’t know it till I started nosing into things.)

Finally, I’m not sure I catch the logic of S3: if God had created kinder humans, their evolutionary ancestors would have been kinder too? Maybe, sort of …

Anyway, it’s a fun read, and that’s the important thing.

[Rick Mullin]

Hi Carl,

Thanks.

As for "crink", I was hoping that I'd made up the word entirely ~,:^) I like it. And, yes, it would spoil things to hold this up to evolutionary science.



I'm going to see if there are other readings of stanza 3 before noting the intended.

A marmoset being a monkey is something I only subconsciously suspected was the case. I'm going to say it supports my thesis.

I'm glad you think this is fun. Which I guess is the overall intent. Lite verse.... Hopefully suggestive of an important notion torn from the headlines.

Rick

--
A possible change could be "a code in the amoeba's trail", which would sadly eliminate "crink" and also address the amoeba's tail question. I take for granted that everyone knows amoeba's don't have tails. I think it's funny saying they do in a poem like this and naively assume that everyone else does too. Another advantage to the change would be the suggestion of genetic code and the echo of the snail's slime trail. Thinking about it. Thanks.

[Carl Copeland]

Rick, you flatter me by calling me David.

Originally Posted by Rick Mullin

As for "crink", I was hoping that I'd made up the word entirely

The OED’s site says its “earliest evidence for crink is from 1781, in the writing of Gilbert White, naturalist,” who wrote that field-crickets crink. Sites disagree, but I did find one that allows a noun with the meaning I think you want.

Originally Posted by Rick Mullin

I take for granted that everyone knows amoebas don't have tails.

What I thought you meant by “tail” was “flagellum,” which other microorganisms, of course, do have.

But I’m not saying you can’t get away with “crink” or “tail.” As long as they serve your purpose.

[Joe Crocker]

This has a good nursery rhyme feel to it. And it also has a moral (ie nature might get along better if we humans didn't make such a blot on the landscape). But it is more than a nursery rhyme. The choice of words and ideas are diverting and interesting and reward some savouring. Like Carl, I thought "monkey" was a little generic.The sloth and marmoset are unusual and draw attention. There are any number of 2-syllable tree-dwellers you could substitute for monkey, how about "mongoose"

Enjoyed

Joe

[Rick Mullin]

Carl!,


I do think I'll stick with crink and tail. The quirkiness adds something. I was as shocked to see "David" in my initial address as you were. Moreso, actually!

Thanks Joe,

I'm glad you see a something creating tension with the "lite". Also, the word choice. There needs to be a kind of economy in the diction with lite verse. I'm thinking about "monkey", but I like the broad category's associations, especially paired with "sloth".

I also think this needs a third stanza to set up the current closer, one that doesn't mention animals. Something to cue up what I'm getting at in God taking another crack at me.

Thanks guys.
RM

[Rick Mullin]

It would be cruel of me to keep you waiting. Thus~

My intent:

This is my version of "Imagine no religion, it's easy if you try."

RM

[Roger Slater]

I like the tone and what I take to be the overall concept, and I like "crink."

I agree that most people know amoebas don't have tails, but most people don't know that the poet knows, so most people will just think it's an error. There's nothing in the poem to signal that it's being said as a joke. And even if I took it as a joke, it's a joke that feels out of place in the rest of the poem and distracts from the whole.

I'm not sure I get the final stanza. Maybe my issue is with "coexist," since the creatures you mention already do coexist, don't they? I think maybe "coexist" needs some sort of modifier to tell us the particular kind of coexistence that you wish to highlight.

[Jan Iwaszkiewicz]

The ‘crink’ in the tail Rick I see as a sort of double bluff. A dead end leading to a trinity on the arms of the tree of evolution. Perhaps a triune Odin? But I cannot see clearly, it is a bestiary beyond me.

[Orwn Acra]

Just spell it tale and it still makes sense (if not more).