[Roger Slater]

The Emperor's New Clothes

The emperor bought new clothing
of which he was quite proud
and strutted from his castle
to show off for the crowd.

His subjects lacked the courage
to tell the emperor his
new "clothing" was an outrage . . .
except one boy, that is.

As everyone was praising
the emperor's fashion sense,
the little boy came forward
and in his innocence

said, "Has nobody noticed?
Has everyone gone mad?
Who cares if he's an emperor?
You can't mix stripes and plaid!"

[Marion Shore]

The Ugly Duckling

Every time they looked at him,
his siblings started chuckling.
"Look!" they quacked as he went by,
"There goes the ugly duckling!"

And then one day he woke to find
his baby down was gone;
he'd sprouted feathers snowy white--
"Good gracious! I'm a swan!"

He passed the other ducks with pride;
his heart began to quicken.
But still they laughed as he went by.
He'd turned into a chicken.

[Roger Slater]

Brilliant, Marion.

[Marion Shore]

Thanks, Bob.

Perhaps it's successful, because, like Miller Williams, I write from my own experience.

[Roger Slater]

Me, too. I almost didn't post this one, it is so intensely personal:


The Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs

My goose laid eggs of solid gold!
I thought it was a crime
her precious metal came my way
just one egg at a time.

I figured all the golden eggs
must be inside the goose.
I wondered, should I kill her now
and set the treasure loose?

But no, I fed the goose instead.
It never hurts to fatten 'em!
The eggs still come just one by one,
but now they're made of platinum.

[FOsen]

Rumpelstiltskin

Before the days of Stanford, Madoff, Milken,
and even Ponzi, there was Rumpelstiltskin.
Who, now, recalls the Great Collapse in Straw
that spawned the Spinning Regulations Law?
The trial, which for a fortnight, gripped us daily?
The courtroom scene where Rumple, at the Bailey,
then named the “She Who’d Better Be Obeyed,”
unmasking she we thought to be a maid
and bringing on her stunning abdication?
That caused, in turn, systemic reformation,
whereby we have a parliament and vote
and everything runs pretty much by rote.
We first elect someone, that’s how the game is,
and instantly, we all know what their name is.

Frank

[Maryann Corbett]

Frank, I love "the Great Collapse in Straw" and the Rumpole jokes. But is the "Obeyed" line missing its couplet pair?

[FOsen]

Thanks, Maryann, but that's not the worst of it. This came to me between car trips, when I had limited access to a computer - in my haste, I actually sent it off to Lucy Vickery at the Spectator!

Hope she has a sense of humor, John.

Frank

[John Whitworth]

Frank, that's brilliant. Sometimes being away from a computer is just what you need.

[Peter Wyton]

Notwithstanding some action packed ruction,
I can safely say we did our duty,
Copped the wicked witch for child abduction,
Falsely impersonating a beauty
And sorcery. We got Rapunzel
On aggravated letting her hair down,
Soliciting from a window sill
And we ran the heir to somebody’s crown
In for wantonly climbing pigtails
Without risk assessment, plus self-harming
With a thorn bush. Once-upon-a-time tales
Need rigorous policing. Prince Charming
Is our next target. He might cut up rough
On the foot fetishism charge. He swears
It was Buttons, but the Billy Goats Gruff
Are turning Queen’s evidence, so who cares.