[Martin Elster]

The Rum Tum Husky

The Rum Tum Husky is a curious dog:
If you offer him a bone, he would go for a sardine.
If you bring him to the forest, he would much prefer a bog.
If you bring him to a bog, he would favor a ravine.
If you take him for a walk, he would rather have a jog.
If you take him for a jog, he would rather he were seen
Tugging a sled with others of his kind.
The Rum Tum Husky was a lucky find
For a guy who hadn’t the slightest clue
In the ways of dogs. But he never got fined
For any misdeed his dog would do.
Yes, the Rum Tum Husky is a curious dog,
Of which there’s little cause to shout:
For he will do as he will do.
On the neighbor’s lawn he stopped to do
What there’s no doing anything about!

[Bill Greenwell]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

I just saw a link indicating that the Spectator ran the identical contest back in 2001.

See http://www.accessmylibrary.com/artic...try-brief.html

PS--

I managed to use a library card to access the entire article! One of the winners back then was Bazza, whose first line was "Bollocky dogs are squat and short."

The other winners were G.M. Davis ("O'Hennessy's a sorry dog, he's called the Bloodshot Eye"), MS Williams, WJ Webster, and Aaron Agee.

I had forgotten this! Here's my loser from that comp:

There's a barking near the gate near on 1658
When the Connex train's not ready to depart,
Saying "Rover where is Rover? Are his masters still in clover?
Have they learned the railway charter off by heart?"
All the muttering commuters and the broken-down computers
They are flashing green and red
Saying "Rover's missed his target, better go and start the car, get
Home in time to get to bed."
When it's 1659, there's a winsome sort of whine
And a sound as if the tannoy's broken down,
As Rover, looking nervous, pads from Customer Care Service,
And announces they are free to stay in town!
He gives one woof, and acts the giddy goof,
And he cancels all departures with his paw:
Then he sits to beg, cocking up one leg -
And leaves the punters shunted like before.

[Roger Slater]

Bill, this time you won ... and won the fiver.


http://newstaging.spectator.widearea...petition.thtml

Well done!

[Martin Elster]

Congrats to the winners, Bill & Bazza (plus two non-spherians), and to the stellar runners-up: Frank, Brian, a couple of poets I don't know, and myself.