[Gail White]

1) I liked things the way they were. Maybe I'm just vain enough to like seeing my name in print, anywhere at all.

2) I never wrote a poem about flying monkeys, but I wrote this one back in college, when my roommate had a dream about a flying hippo:

Happy hippopotami,
Gliding, sliding through the sky,
If hippopotami can fly,
Why, I ask myself, can't I?

Happy hippopotami
Dwell in the beholder's eye.
If you see happy hippos fly,
You'll be committed by and by.

[Philip Quinlan]

I know I'm going to regret asking, but what the flying **** did monkeys ever have to do with this in the first place?

Bill, you are to poetry what Bob Hope was to comedy. Bob (apart from, proverbially, liking a "big room") was the original joke box comedian.

P

[Maryann Corbett]

Philip, look back at post 2. In it Bill makes jokes about what administrators do behind the scenes, by alluding to Oz-elements such as wizards and curtains (which are a reasonable metaphor for admin stuff) and flying monkeys (which are utterly gratuitous and a mere excuse for all these silly poems).

[W.F. Lantry]

Originally Posted by Philip Quinlan

I know I'm going to regret asking, but what the flying **** did monkeys ever have to do with this in the first place?

Philip,

It's a very old joke in computing, having to do with the Wizard of Oz. Remember the old Blinken-lighten thing from the 50's?

"ACHTUNG! ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS! DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN. ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN."

That's an edited version. Some speakers of German quite rightly objected!

Anyway, 'the man behind the curtain' trope is something computer people used to say to the user community, jokingly, in the 90's. What the community members never heard was what the sysadmins would whisper under their breath just afterwards: "or the flying monkeys will get you!"

But I'm deeply offended that anyone would suggest the light-hearted verse in question existed, in any form, in advance! Such suggestions are in shocking bad faith, and I *will* have satisfaction! Pistols at dawn being out of range, I demand a one-hour duel, on any subject, even one of the other contestant's choosing, tomorrow afternoon. He should have his seconds contact my seconds. I have been slandered! Slandered, I say! It's a matter of honor!

Thanks,

Bill

[Michael Cantor]

Blitz Chess as poetry! Here's some advice to potential contenders. Demand tet or hex, or even a dactyllic meter. I'm fairly certain that Bill is a MetriBot III model, or possibly an IV beta, and those early Series were all implanted with the Adobe SonnetShop chip that can only handle IP.

[W.F. Lantry]

Quite right. Iambs only. What's a dactyl? Tet, hex, het all are fine. Shouldn't my seconds be deciding this issue? Or even my thirds?

Since the craven and cowardly villain has not yet responded, (sadly, we can't see if he's online), I'll make the malingerer this offer: I will double his line totals for the given time! If he can only manage a sonnet, I'll do 28 lines.

There. One hand tied behind my back. That should smoke him out!

Thanks,

Bellicose Bill

[Kathleen Fitzpatrick]

Alright, alright. Move along. The Code Duello of 1777 specifically forbids children's play as "dishonourable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited."

Let's get back to the serious business of Poetry. I've already employed my cast iron skillet on Bill to get him back to earnest toil.

I am a witness to the 36 minute waste of time, though I am happy to report the poem is already flying off for consideration.

Best,

Kate

[Allen Tice]

Your call is important to us. The waiting time on this queue is calculated to be approximately three minutes. All of our service technicians at present are taking other calls. Please continue to hold until one of our technicians can respond to you.

[E. Shaun Russell]

I like the idea of a speed poem competition. Just for the hell of it.

[W.F. Lantry]

Rats! Not only have the calumniating assertions been withdrawn, but somehow the authorities caught wind of the affair, and now I'm dodging frying pans aimed at my head! Ouch!

And here I'd hoped for a little bracing excitement. I love the smell of flyting in the morning! But now we'll have only peace, and honest labor, darn it!

On the other hand, who knew the code was actually written out in 1777? And it turns out it's dishonor to simply shoot in the air!

Thanks,

Bill