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  #21  
Unread 01-13-2021, 12:18 PM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is offline
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The only thing that I questioned at first was the slant rhyme of “appalls/waltz,” since “appalls” ends with a “z” sound and “waltz” actually ends with an “s” sound. An interesting reversal of consonant and sound.

By the way, I say “menstruate” with three syllables. My dictionary says it can be 2 or 3.

Last edited by Martin Elster; 01-13-2021 at 12:23 PM.
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  #22  
Unread 01-13-2021, 01:29 PM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Ann, the only thing that confused me momentarily was "laboured in the loo," which I initially thought meant you were cleaning it, since you had mentioned that it was "fusty." By L4 all is clear, so I don't believe you need to change the poem, but I thought I would mention it. I have never come across another poem on this subject, so I think you have a first. But it is amusing in a wry way, so it counts as light verse for me.

Susan
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  #23  
Unread 01-13-2021, 01:53 PM
Coleman Glenn Coleman Glenn is offline
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Ann,

Wonderful light verse (with depth), as others have said.

Pedantry is the natural enemy of light verse, so feel free to ignore this, but per Wikipedia, scientists have generally concluded that menstrual synchrony doesn't actually happen. No need to let that ruin a perfectly good poem - the idea is widely known and accepted enough that for my money, it doesn't particularly matter for the poem's purposes whether it's strictly factual or not.
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  #24  
Unread 01-13-2021, 01:59 PM
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R. Nemo Hill R. Nemo Hill is offline
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Such remarkable intimacy, on all levels.
I can smell it from here, Annie.

!!!
Nemo
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  #25  
Unread 01-13-2021, 02:15 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coleman Glenn View Post
Ann,

scientists have generally concluded that menstrual synchrony doesn't actually happen. No need to let that ruin a perfectly good poem - the idea is widely known and accepted enough that for my money, it doesn't particularly matter for the poem's purposes whether it's strictly factual or not.
From what I can tell, the evidence still isn't conclusive either way, but the testimony of millions of women is at least plausible because synchronization is a well-observed phenomonon in other contexts where seemingly independent units conform their rhythms to one another. As in the case of metronomes.
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  #26  
Unread 01-13-2021, 04:09 PM
Joe Crocker Joe Crocker is offline
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“Synchronicity” I think, is not the same as “synchrony” or “synchronization”. Carl Jung used (invented?) the word to mean a “meaningful coincidence” in which the coincidence was acausal, perhaps supernatural. The synchronization of biological or physical cycles is causal. The coincidence between the Narrator and Cat is, I presume, not causal. But the Narrator finds it meaningful. Therefore “Synchronicity” is an appropriate title for the poem.
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  #27  
Unread 01-13-2021, 06:14 PM
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Katie Hoerth Katie Hoerth is offline
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Hi Ann, Just popping in to say that I found this delightful, just like everyone else. My cats do that "ritual waltz" in the litter too! Never thought of it as a waltz, but alas. The playfulness of the subject matter fits the playfulness of the rhymes and diction.
On the first read, I found it a little jarring to go between past and present tense (the past pooping, the present tea-sipping... those aren't sychronous!), but it's not a big deal and its easy enough to suss out.
For what it's worth, this Texan pronounces menstruate with two syllables, but that didn't fumble the meter for me. Kind of like MEN-straight.
A wonderful and unique poem. Thanks for sharing!
Katie
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  #28  
Unread 01-13-2021, 08:37 PM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is offline
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Quote:
we two have shat in unison, which shows
how close we have become to one another

. . . . .

a token of a sort of sisterhood
One of the things I like about this poem is the portrayed bond between a human and a non-human — two different species of mammals. Just like the bond between a human and a canine (and there are many videos on YouTube of friendships developing between very different species of other animals as well), it’s really remarkable that that can happen and happens often. That’s the main thrust of the poem for me.
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  #29  
Unread 01-14-2021, 04:22 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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First, thanks to all who have read this and commented. I am delighted by its overall reception. I had grave misgivings about it because I took such pleasure in making it, fearing it might have become a “darling” that should be murdered. I have, of course, been writing throughout the lockdowns; there is a “Corona Diary” with almost forty almost-finished poems in it, mostly occasional and all wholly subjective. I didn’t comment on the Covid anthology thread but my feeling is that work triggered by/ rooted in a major incident should be viewed with suspicion and quarantined until its wider value, or lack thereof, becomes apparent. This was written immediately upon being surprised by the joy of it and posted here within a day of its making.

It began with a need to pin the thought down and at first I told it back to myself in my go-to counted syllabics, a very loose IP, but it soon became apparent that I needed to craft it into something more formal (the truth-and-beauty thing is caught up in there somewhere) so it became a sonnet. I am aware that there is still room for improvement.

I am working on replies to all who posted, but meanwhile, thank you for the responses and for the tangential thoughts, which have been particularly pleasing.
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  #30  
Unread 01-14-2021, 08:30 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Thanks for your positive comment, Jim. A shame you edited it; I liked the notion of arse-ears.

Allen, I am fairly sure I don’t share the Good Dean’s “excremental vision”

Martin, I contrived the equivalent of a litter box for my dog, Otis, for the few occasions when I had to leave him at home. Several shallow trays of growing grass converting an area of floor into a toilet area by the back door.

Andrew, you’ve hit on several things that concerned me when I posted; “fusty gust” is perhaps a little too slick and I’m glad you like the fun of the waltz/appals rhyme, but I don’t want to cut “ritual" because it is a real part of feline behaviour. One watches for the shaping of the frame, the repeated reverse turns and the understated fleckerl that marks the moment of final intent. They are integral to the procedure. I take your point about the typing pool and will consider it. Yes, hereabouts there are three syllables to menstruation – but only one "l" in “appal”.

Thank you for hooting, Andrew F! My cat, too, preferred outdoors until the current change in circumstances, combined with a recent loss of too many beloved community cats to poisoning, made a change of routine essential.

Thank you, Rick; I value your congratulations. Others have queried the title, but I have not found anything I like better. For reasons of hanging onto cohesion where I can, I have assigned one-word titles to all my recent poems.

I’m not sure, RogerBob, how I feel about the lightness or otherwise of this verse. My current circumstances skew my perception so I’ll stand back, listen to the laughter of many of the readers and rejoice in their pleasure.

Thank you for backing me up in what I was trying to say, Jim. I can see Oakley merrily burying his turds with a similar ritual to that of Cat (whose name is Asbo, by the way).

Well spotted, Jayne. As Mark says, it’s Keats, and as Andrew says, he and I have a “thing” going on. He doesn’t mind. I asked him.

Thanks, Mark, for calling it “good shit” and Andrew for saying the same with “nice job”. Both made me smile.

Thanks, Joe, for grocking my synchronicity. As long as people get its Jungian implications, I’d rather not expand it, though.

Thanks to everyone who has put in their penn’orths to the “menstrUation” debate. It’s amazing how a small thing like that suddenly jumps into focus when scansion pushes it centrestage. I mentioned “appal/appall” earlier and it amused me that the Americans who mentioned the word gently adjusted the spelling. It’s another transatlantic thing.

Susan, thank you. I was pleased when I found the word “laboured” to hint at my preoccupation with the business in hand and didn’t think it would mislead. I’m glad it resolves itself within a quatrain. Thank you for being amused by my weirdness.

Thanks for making that point, Coleman. I didn’t research the notion, I just remembered it from the days when typing pools were more common than they are now.

Nemo – breathe deep! I am glad what I made has reached that far.

Thanks, RogerBob for the metronomes and Joe for the hefty endorsement of my title.

Thank you, Katie, for sussing out my tenses and for sharing your two-syllable bleed!

Martin, I’m glad you found the “hidden” praise for animal relationships.

Again. Thanks all.
.

Editing in on 16th Jan
: Thank you Orwn, Brian, David, Joe, Bill and Jayne. I'm adding my thanks to later posters without bumping this up; it has had its moment in the sun and should now slide decorously into oblivion.

.

Last edited by Ann Drysdale; 01-16-2021 at 12:11 PM. Reason: Adding more thanks without bumping the thread.
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