[mignon ledgard]

Rick,

Gorgeous poem. And just the kind of offering Poetry demands. If only we could live up to it more often!

"Even these must pass into certain knowledge,

fade within the confines of human feeling,

pass into the realm of an ardent spirit

brilliant, eternal."

I may change "pass into" on the third line above, to:
'to enter' (eliminating the preceding comma.)

Sweet surrender, a la duende?

~mignon

Addendum: Celestine, from celeste, sky blue, heavenly.
We do have 'celestial.'
But you wouldn't want Celestina from Peru.

[Rick Mullin]

Thanks Jim and Mignon,

Jim, I think that first line is the tone of transition I want. Almost a priestly voice, if not a pontiff's. I'm glad you like this.

Mignon, thank you. And "enter" is an ideal word for that line. A real improvement. I was going for the prayerlike repetition, picking up from that element in the first two stanzas. But the effect of "enter" puts that aside. Thanks for that suggestion.

Rick

[Julie Steiner]

"enter to" is just right. Varying the pattern established in the first two trinities of not-things makes the conclusion of the poem more affirmative.

[Alexandra Baez]

Is it possible (grammatically speaking) to "enter to" something? I believe I've only heard "enter into," although "enter to" has the sound of high poetic diction. I imagine, Rick, that you like the parallelism of "pass," "fade," and "enter," and at least partly for that reason, chose this twist on mignon's suggestion.

[mignon ledgard]

Rick,

I did think of the repetition of 'pass' as a poetic device. It made me hesitate and feel that dropping 'enter' by itself seemed sloppy. I'm relieved and much prefer your correct and more poetic application - it's classy, unlike my ordinary suggestion.

I'm also enjoying Julie's and A. Baez's new comments..
~mignon

[mignon ledgard]

Indeed, Julie!

Your posts are always fun to read..

~m

[Carl Copeland]

Originally Posted by A. Baez

Is it possible (grammatically speaking) to "enter to" something? I believe I've only heard "enter into," although "enter to" has the sound of high poetic diction.

“To” has the sound of ungrammatical metrical filler to me. How about “enter the domain”?

FWIW, I still balk at “an ardent spirit brilliant.” A line break can do the work of punctuation in minimally punctuated verse, but this is otherwise fully punctuated.

[Rick Mullin]

Thanks folks,

Yes, I'm happy with "enter" and I like "enter to", which I don't think is grammatically problematic. And I like the tone.

Note the rewrite of S2L1, which, perhaps ironically, was the one line void of a distinct image.

I'm sold on the undeniably grammatically incorrect lack of that comma, Carl. New realm effect?

Rick

[Julie Steiner]

FWIW, "enter to" didn't bother me. I guess I'm thinking of it as a syntactical mix of "enter to a round of applause" and "wake to a winter wonderland".

I can't speak for Carl, but the reason I'm missing some form of punctuation before the final "brilliant, eternal" is that the context makes me see those two adjectives as modifying "these," interrupted by parenthetical remarks that should each be set off by commas. Without punctuation, my first instinct is to try to make them modify "ardent spirit," which doesn't seem right.

[Carl Copeland]

Originally Posted by Rick Mullin

I like "enter to", which I don't think is grammatically problematic.

Entering to a place is like ascending up the stairs, but poets aren’t slaves to grammar ...