[Mark McDonnell]

Hello! So, I haven't written a poem in many months. I've been reading some Big Books, though! Last year Proust and I've just finished Ulysses. I suppose I'm officially well-read now, at least. The latter prompted this, which might not make much sense unless you've also read that particular door-stop (which I have decided to condense into 14 lines ha!). Perhaps it's interesting anyway. Perhaps not. Anyway, I'm trying to get back into the swing. Consider this a start.

Rev

Wombfruit and Quickening

xxxWho made those allegations? says Alf.
xxxI, says Joe. I’m the alligator.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxJames Joyce, Ulysses

A mirror and a razor crossed – the air
expectant, bringing sea-breeze, catechism,
a liquid breakfast. Down the winding stair,
the day spread out for you – it is a prism
to split the light a thousand ways. And east
above the Sandymount the sun will bloom
for a willing cuckold eating fowl and beast,
preparing for the slog from crib to tomb –
from inner organs, outhouse defecation,
from dodging biscuit tins to spilling seed
on twilit siren sands. What is a nation?
Same people in the same place? None agreed.
But oh, the universe of difference! Bless
the sacred difference. Yes, she says. And Yes.


Alternate title and added epigraph (title was “Ulysses”, then “Poldy”).


Ulysses

A mirror and a razor crossed – the air
expectant, bringing sea-breeze, catechism,
a liquid breakfast. Down the winding stair,
the day spread out for you – it is a prism
to split the light a thousand ways. And east
above the Sandymount the sun will bloom
for a willing cuckold eating fowl and beast,
preparing for the slog from crib to tomb –
from inner organs, outhouse defecation,
from dodging biscuit tins to spilling seed
on twilit siren sands. What is a nation?
Same people in the same place? None agreed.
But oh, the universe of difference! Bless
the sacred difference. Yes, she says. And yes.
x
x

[Orwn Acra]

Really really great. I am unsure if the title broadens or narrows what happens after.

[R. Nemo Hill]

Yes, really, really great.
As for the title, well, it might be better with a different title, and then an epigraph, a thoroughly obscure one, from the book.

Nemo

[Susan McLean]

Despite having read the beginning and the end several times, I have never read the book itself, though I know a bit about it from other sources. Given the cryptic nature of the utterances, readers may need to hear that this is about Ulysses, though it would be nice if you could do so in a slightly more oblique way. I do think it will take familiarity with the book for most readers to get a lot out of the poem. The rhyme and meter are well handled. Congratulations on getting back into writing. It can always feel hard to do after a hiatus.

Susan

[David Callin]

Wow. Really good. Well done Mark. (I have read it. Twice, in fact. And I don't rule out reading it again. Didn't get far with Finnegans Wake, though.)

I'm sure more of the details will come to mind as I think about this again (which I will do).

I like Nemo's idea about the title. Just as a matter of interest, the one word that always occurs to me, when I think about the book, is omphalos. I'm not sure whether that's any use to you or not.

Cheers

David

[John Riley]

Taking a break was a great idea for you Mark. This is seriously good. I remembered most of the references I think.

Congratulations on finishing Proust. I’m working on it.

A different title is a good idea.

[Carl Copeland]

Mark, I’ll put your poem down on my reading list right after Ulysses, and if I get around to them in this lifetime, you’ll hear from me. Meanwhile, I’m just savoring the wordfeast.

[Jim Moonan]

.

Originally Posted by Orwn Acra

I am unsure if the title broadens or narrows what happens after.

For me it informs. I agree with Nemo that perhaps a different title and an epigraph (obscure) from the book would work well and give it its own life.

It is so tightly aligned/entwined with the book that it feels ekphrastic. A thought for a title that jumped to mind is Tower. Another would be Rhapsody.

The last four lines offer such a leap into today's world it startled me.

I've always felt a connection to Stephen Dedalus, first in Portrait and then in Ulysses. I dug up a quote of his that might get you to thinking:

“God becomes man becomes fish becomes barnacle goose becomes featherbed mountain.”


It's a brilliant, tightly worded poem, Mark. Very much the book in sonnet incarnation. Same as always.

.

[Jan Iwaszkiewicz]

A dégustation Mark.

Kudos!

[Cally Conan-Davies]

This is the most finished (re)start I've ever read!

I wouldn't change a word, not even the title. In fact, I think the title works in both the ways Walter identifies at the same time.


Cally