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Unread 12-24-2017, 02:47 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 4,952
Default Poems for the holidays

Hi folks,

Here is a solstitial offering:


The year has journeyed to its shortest day,
as we have journeyed to the kitchen. In
its warm environment, the day begins –
Judy is making porridge, and a stray

cookie has landed on my plate. About
this time, a bird sings. Rita in her gown
heads for the bathroom. In the busy town
of Boston, you’ll not find an hour without

cars in the street, en route from A to B.
Todd’s learning Spanish; all the older folk
are up, the young sleep on. When I awoke,
the sun was still abed, and now I see

it rising in the East, beyond the park.
These are the holidays. I’ve had my share
of what you might call grooming, and a fair
amount of cookies. They have made their mark.

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Unread 12-24-2017, 03:47 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Staffordshire, England
Posts: 3,822


Poll suggests
'Gay Jewish Atheists
Do Christmas Best'
in Festive Fails
'Balloon Sculpture Nativity Scene
Causes Stir':
Inflatable Christ-child
breaks moorings,
ascends early
to avoid nails.
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Unread 12-24-2017, 06:31 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 4,952

Grape Jelly

Heading to Lisa’s, we stopped at Trader Joe’s,
where the black ice had melted in the rain,
to purchase drink. We reached her house about
a car ride later, and took off our shoes
to greet the host - who said three sentences
or so to us in total. Our young men
moved among Lisa’s neighbors, as I sat
with Matt to speak of this and that. He asked
about our stay in Strasbourg, and I told
how Rita taught French as I crossed the Rhine
to teach my students German. There’s no need
to show a passport these days, if you’re not
en route to Hungary. This year, we plan
to take them to Vienna, and if not,
I said to Matt, we’ll head to Prague and Cracow,
which people say are lovely
. Like a small
stone in a pond, Matt dropped into our chat
that thirty miles from Cracow, there is Auschwitz,
for those who care to visit. And the gears
of conversation shifted, as we talked
of what is right and what is not, of how
one teaches German, of the film Dunkirk,
of Wolf Hall, which I could not read – on page
eight or nine, the father kicks his prone
son in the head, and I put down the book.
We ate baked brie, and ham, and greeted Amy,
who’d put grape jelly on her meatballs. Matt
confided that in me – her mother’s secret.
When I met Amy, I was five or so,
there’s weight to our acquaintance. Did you put
grape jelly on your meatballs?
I inquired.


Last edited by John Isbell; 12-24-2017 at 04:42 PM.
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Unread 12-24-2017, 05:48 PM
Erik Olson Erik Olson is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,142

Christmas Gravitas

Like early snow, these advent spirits sail
Through door and letterbox—addressed blackmail
In dumb appeals: How shall we choose between
The blind, the lame, and deaf? The pitch is seen,
Our hearts hammered by children’s hungry eyes.
Bewildered and perturbed, we shun those cries
Only to find more envelops assail:
Save the Orangutan, Koala, Whale!

Last edited by Erik Olson; 12-28-2017 at 06:25 PM.
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Unread 12-24-2017, 08:09 PM
RCL's Avatar
RCL RCL is offline
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,633


O, my dear Prodigious Elf
That merry month is here.
I madly hope You’ll gift myself
With what I’d like—this Year:

A brand new feeder for my birds
The Phoebe and the Hummer—
Happy wingèd—little—Bards
In Choirs every Summer.

On Wizards of the World’s best Words
Bestow the Wit to Weave—
Worthy webs from their Word-Hoards
That Measure Man’s beliefs.

And lastly—let One—realize
How Chill a life can be
Without those sometime—brilliant—Smiles
That rarely shine on me.

Yrs Emily D.
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Unread 12-25-2017, 01:03 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Staffordshire, England
Posts: 3,822

Jingle Phil

You fuck it up, the Christmas gift.
You never mean to, but you do.
You leave it late and then they're miffed
With 'Words of Wisdom for the Loo'.

But you've been fucked up in your time
by festive ties with matching socks,
disturbing books on true-life crime
and vaguely racist cuckoo clocks.

Man hands on useless tat to man,
It sits unwanted on a shelf.
Next year you'll sort it! Have a plan!
Accept you make a useless elf.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Last edited by Mark McDonnell; 12-25-2017 at 02:48 AM.
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Unread 12-25-2017, 03:13 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 4,952

Santa and Bruce

It’s late, and Bruce has left the Earth. I got
the news as Santa sped through Heaven with
his bright red bag of presents. Everywhere
that you’ll find Christians, people are asleep
with projects for the morning. In the town
of Boston, it is bitter cold, and Santa
will welcome his red suit. Bruce was a man
to share a thought on Santa, for he had
a thought on almost anything. If you
had a sink or garage to fix, he knew
just how to do that, and would set to work
as if it were a pleasure, in the way
that he worked on his garden, or advised
a driver how to drive their car. The world
made sense to Bruce, and filled him with delight
when he spoke of its oddities, its quirks
and foibles, of what made it tick. He loved
to talk to people. Bruce was on his way
through Heaven when death took him, for he was
expected in South Texas. But the heart
that pushed blood through his arteries, and filled
the folks who met him with his presence, gave
out at the last. What Santa brings a man
is often a surprise. He brought to Bruce
a range of qualities, such as the gift
of dwelling in the memory. And then
he brought an end to pain. But Bruce had gone
through life without complaining. Things to fix
got fixed, what needed doing, done. Perhaps
that sleigh has room for a companion. Bruce
would surely have ideas to make the ride
go faster, and be truer to its dream.


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Unread 12-25-2017, 03:37 AM
Ann Drysdale's Avatar
Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Old South Wales (UK)
Posts: 5,321

Christmas Day in Rothéneuf

St. Malo played dead with its eyes tight shut,
Lying low under loud siege from a sea
Whose sullen picket had been stirred to militance
By a force ten agent provocateur.

Mad English. We walked the Emerald Coast
In time to our own music; suck and plop
Of sensible footwear, underlining
The rhythmic rough breathing of the Gore-Tex.

And in Rothéneuf, the patisserie. Open.
Not just for bread with its cold overtones
Of transubstantiation. Alongside
Lay a display of tempting specialities.
They had risen early to greet the Christchild
With the best that a baker had to offer,
Their selling of such indulgences pardoned
By the wicked permissiveness of birthdays.
We bought likewise; one of these, one of those,
Some of all of it, almonds, sugar, cream…

We took our treasure down to the wild beach,
Seeking a place away from the storm’s bravado.
Under an upturned boat, huddled like monkeys,
We had a party for the Birthday Boy
And while we licked delight from sticky fingers,
Thin flakes of pastry, winnowed by the wind
Went merrily to heaven - the angels’ share.
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Unread 12-25-2017, 05:33 AM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Devon England
Posts: 1,648

Some juicy stuff on this festive thread. Merry midwinter everyone.

Tune For Tongue In Cheek

The UK passport is an expression of our
independence and sovereignty – symbolising
our citizenship of a proud, great nation.
That's why we have announced that the iconic
#bluepassport will return after we leave the
European Union in 2019. - Tweet by Theresa May

I’m dreaming of a blue passport
Just like the one I used to know
When border crossing with Britain bossing
A good deal more of the show.

I’m dreaming of a blue passport
With every foreign trip I do
May, your words are strong and true
And, May, all your promises are too.
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Unread 12-29-2017, 05:03 AM
Peter Goulding Peter Goulding is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dublin
Posts: 211
Default Santa, we need to talk about security

Santa, we need to talk about security
How safe are the presents stacked upon your shelves?
Are your workers’ hearts consumed by purity?
In short, dear Santa, do you trust your elves?

I’m sure you mind the letter that I sent to you,
specifically requesting a new drone.
I’m not the sort of chap that would give vent to you
but like the frosty wind, I may well moan.

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t on the naughty list.
I’ve spent the last twelve months just being nice.
Will you check again your over-forty list?
Control and F should easily suffice.

I’m sure you wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
Remember last year’s business with the Merc?
Can you be sure some elves aren’t on the take again?
Did you check their references of work?

Elves are widely known to be quite devious.
They’re not averse to some light-fingered crime.
By nature, they are greedy and mischiev-i-ous
and many of them end up doing time.

Pointing fingers never was a trait of mine,
but you, the wife, the reindeer or the elves?
Besides, the little sods once skimmed a mate of mine.
They really can blame no-one but themselves.

I’m sure you wish that you were only dreaming it
To someone like yourself, it is abhorrent.
But one or more are very likely creaming it.
I’m sure it’s not too hard to get a warrant.

Surveillance, using up to date technology,
would help your crumbling business to survive.
I’d help you but, by way of an apology,
my drone, as you well know, did not arrive.
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