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  #1  
Unread 03-15-2021, 07:19 PM
Golias Golias is offline
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Default The Politics of Pain

3/15/2021

The Ides of March are come
and my heart beats like a drum
though only three beats gave me pain this morning.
Even so, my brain, upon reflection,
undertook a bodily election,
as it deemed three painful beats a warning.
Every vital body part was questioned.
The vote was yea or nay
on shutting down today
and each vote had room for a suggestion.

My stomach voted “Nay,
my digestion is okay.”
My liver voted “Yea, I am sclerosing.”
The lungs both said “We’re fine,”
as they voted to decline
and await some reason more engrossing.
My intestines said ”We’re moved,
but nothing really has been proved,
so delaying the decision would be best.'”
My kidneys voted “Nay, though we are stressed.”
The spine said “Nay, I’m not Impressed.”
Last to vote, my heart said “I will have more pain,
and that will be no voting matter, Mr. Brain.”

Last edited by Golias; 03-17-2021 at 05:06 PM. Reason: Shorten post to intersify per comments
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  #2  
Unread 03-16-2021, 11:22 AM
conny conny is offline
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i think this is a great idea. maybe slightly too long for what
it has to say, but a fine idea none the less. one thing on first
pass,

...nonce/nonse.....in the UK, is a very bad word indeed. i know it
has other meanings, poetic and otherwise, but is a general term
here for a pedophile.

back in a while.
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  #3  
Unread 03-17-2021, 12:35 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Hi Conny,
I have a big expensive dictionary which says for the nonce comes from a 12th century expression "for anes" meaning"for the occasion" or for the time being. What some UK people may mean by it, if that different from eight centuries of usage only shows their ignorance and does not affect me or my writing in any way. I never met a "pedophile." Sounds like someone who loves feet. I don't think we have any over here.
I actually had that heart pain yesterday and thought the ghost of Julius Caesar had something to do with it. I see my geriatrician tomorrow, the cute little doctor who has prescribed writing a poem a day for my Parkinsonism. I am taking her 48 new poems to read. Some of them are pretty good IMO.

So long, for anes.

Wiley

Last edited by Golias; 03-17-2021 at 12:39 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 03-17-2021, 08:55 AM
W T Clark W T Clark is offline
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Hello Golias,


I think this is an entertaining poem, darkly entertaining, which is my preferred mode. The title plays off of "the body politic" and other such biologically-morphable phrases. The rhyme and metre allow I think for both the humour and the darkness, the gallows humour let us say — the human body is in many ways a gallows for the brain — the technique recalls to me Stevie Smith.
Saying that, I find it drawn-out and a little too long: that its beat dies before the poem properly dies. The opening line is amusingly interesting, but the second places me somewhere in a T.S. Eliot pastiche, which isn't helped by the Eliotish "ides of March". I don't follow that if the feet and legs are in trouble in some way they are able to have two votes. In such a logic-ordered poem, the logic here seems weak. In fact, I would drop the entire feet riff, it seems superfluous and "to keep on walking with their cane" is a clunky, unneeded line.
You might also consider removing "nonce", which has grown in modern parlance to mean someone who is attracted and predatory toward underage children; in other words, a paedophile. Languages change, develop. Some poems are great enough to bring back old words, others, less successful.
I enjoyed reading this.

Hope this helps,
Cameron
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  #5  
Unread 03-17-2021, 10:31 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Thanks Cameron and Conny<

OK, Out with the feet and legs, which aren't vital anyway; out with the slighted systems, and out with "nonce," since "once' is gone with the lower extremities. Of course language changes, but it's not necessary for the whole usng population to change at the behest of a small minority. I am still PO'ed that you Brit folks managed in a mere hundred or so years to reverse "doubt" and screw up some good literature and folk song lyrics, viz. "If that's your Willie, he is not here. I doubt he's drowned, as we do feat." But what the heck? I'm out of here soon and doubt ( old style) I'll get to see, from Valhalla or some such place, the forthcoming extinction of this humanoid species.

Cheers,

Wiley

Last edited by Golias; 03-17-2021 at 10:36 AM.
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  #6  
Unread 03-19-2021, 11:01 AM
Golias Golias is offline
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Default Politics of Pain

Asked why mention Ides of March, refer to Shakespeare's Tragedy of Julius Caesar Act I Sc II and Act III Sc I,. A dangerous date, opinio proprius.
Revised with medical advice( A-Fib).

3/15/2021
Body Politics of Pain
The Ides of March are come
and my heart beats like a drum.
A moment’s beating gave me pain this morning.
My brain, unsure of outcome,
launched a body referendum,
as it deemed a moment’s pain a warning.
All vital body systems then were questioned.
The vote was yea or nay
on shutting down toda,y
and every vote had room for one suggestion.

My stomach voted “Nay,
my digestion is okay.”
My Liver voted “Yea, for I have terrible Cirrhosis..”
The lungs both said “We’re fine.”
as they voted to decline
and wait for covid-19, cancer, or thrombosis.
My intestines said “”We’re moved,
but nothing really has been proved,
so delaying a decision would be best."
My kidneys voted “Nay, though we are stressed,”
and my spine said “Nay; I’m bent but not depressed.”
Last to vote, my heart said “Nay, but if more pain,
it will be no voting matter, Mr. Brain.”

Last edited by Golias; 03-19-2021 at 11:49 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 03-21-2021, 08:38 AM
Bill Marsh Bill Marsh is offline
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Please do not change:

Last to vote, my heart said “I will have more pain,
and that will be no voting matter, Mr. Brain.”

to

Last to vote, my heart said “Nay, but if more pain,
it will be no voting matter, Mr. Brain.”

Also, the organs are voting on "shutting down today"?
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  #8  
Unread 03-21-2021, 12:53 PM
Golias Golias is offline
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I agree, Bill., the firt last line is best. And yes; voting is on preemptive "shutting down today:


Politics of Pain
Asked why mention Ides of March, refer to Shakespeare's Tragedy of Julius Caesar Act I Sc II and Act III Sc I,. A dangerous date, opinio proprius.
Revised with medical advice ( A-Fib, Atrial Fibibrulatio, still shown by EKG 2 days after the episode.)

3/15/2021
Body Politics of Pain
The Ides of March are come
and my heart beats like a drum.
A moment’s beating gave me pain this morning.
My brain, unsure of outcome,
launched a body referendum,
as it deemed a moment’s pain a warning.
All vital body systems then were questioned.
The vote was yea or nay
on shutting down today
and every vote had room for one suggestion.

My stomach voted “Nay,
my digestion is okay.”
My Liver voted “Yea, for I have terrible Cirrhosis..”
The lungs both said “We’re fine.”
as they voted to decline
and wait for covid-19, cancer, or thrombosis.
My intestines said “”We’re moved,
but nothing really has been proved,
so delaying a decision would be best."
My kidneys voted “Nay, though we are stressed,”
and my spine said “Nay; I’m bent but not depressed.”
Last to vote, my heart said “I will have more pain,
and that wll bel be no voting matter, Mr. Brain.”

Last edited by Golias; 03-21-2021 at 01:18 PM.
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