Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-01-2010, 05:33 PM
Jayne Osborn's Avatar
Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 5,634
Default LitRev results for October 2010 + next comp

'Our John' is on a roll - teaset from The Oldie, now 2nd LitRev prize of 150 - well done, John! He and I are (sorry, were, now joined by Bazza's alter ego Iain Colley) the lone members of this exclusive little club. Let's hope once more for another spherian appearance next time. (I'm still pondering the validity of rhyming 'gait' with 'gate', though, but the judges' decision is what counts. And I don't get the 'drunk speak' of the last poem either.)

Here's the magazine report:

This month’s poems were on the subject of ‘party animal’. Iain Colley wins first prize and 300; John Whitworth’s entertaining tribute to groovy Drusilla wins second prize and 150; and the other two printed receive 10 each. Next month’s subject is ‘self-portrait’; poems must rhyme and scan as usual, and arrive at these offices no later than Tuesday 26 October.

First Prize – Party Girl by Iain Colley
She barely has a single inhibition.
Her attitude is not your maiden aunt’s,
Since her temperament’s impulsive, and her movements are convulsive
When at parties she performs her solo dance.

She never waits for anyone’s permission.
Some people find it shocking, even crude;
But she looks quite prepossessing while she’s teasingly undressing,
And she looks like heaven’s blessing when she’s nude.

It’s partly the tequilas that impel her
To sweep aside conventional taboos.
She will ratchet homely revels up to Dionysiac levels
As she pirouettes in nothing but her shoes.

It’s been known for a provoked hostess to tell her
To sling her hook and never come again.
Sometimes such disapproval will result in forced removal,
But she’s popular as money with the men.

Second Prize – Party Animal (1965) by John Whitworth
Groovy Drusilla, you girl in a thousand,
Sweet undergraduate fresher, so glad to get
Out of Saint Hilda’s and walking on air
Over to Merton, your white mini-skirt on,
Your white plastic knee-boots, your white cotton blouse and
Your black velvet ribbon in platinum hair!

Tripping by Magdalen with bag and umbrella –
The boy on the Cherwell, who plays his guitar well,
Blows you the smoke from his long panatella.
Was that the one chatted me up at lunch at
The War-on-Want party on staircase three?
Wonder when I’ll get invited for tea.

Drusilla, you’re making it, taking your chance.
The giant three-quarter’s a trifle distraught as
He sees you pavilioned, enthralling supporters.
And if he’s a Blue – why what’s that to you?
He’ll buy an Elizabeth dinner or two,
You’ll go the Teddy Hall Michaelmas Dance.

Turn past the Lodge then, past scholar and commoner –
Dour Engineers raise their eyes from their beers,
Muttering, spluttering, Look at the bum on her!
Boyfriends? Not boyfriends but just hoi polloi friends,
Drusilla, as sexy and sweet as can be,
Drusilla you’re coming to Merton, to me!

The Party Animal – Lord of Creation by Ted Giles
The Lord of all the Doorsteps with his condescending gait
Inexorably moved on and stepped through one more garden gate;
With much gesticulation spoke of problems he would solve
While submissive minions watched the party animal evolve.

The Lord of all Debates took on his most disarming stance,
And conferred on party members a conspiratorial glance;
By denunciations, challenges and outrage he contrived
To make his minions think that the messiah had arrived.

The Lord of all the Conferences had tried to lead the pack,
But bigger beasts were growling and he wisely feared attack:
When he built up his defences with a rabble-rousing speech
His minions saw no limit to the heights that he might reach.

The Lord of all the Ballots with his doting minions deigned
To watch the count and saw the huge majority attained
By other party animals: his party in defeat
Would not Naturally Select him then for any other seat.

Party animal by D A Prince
She’s through the closing doors, like wine
into a large glass, flailing, falling,
too drunk to hurt herself. Ssshh trine
fu Brn’m?
and then she’s sprawling.

Don’t catch her eye. The daily grind,
the heading-home commute-routine
consoles the tired suburban mind.
We do not know the party scene.

Ssshh trine fu Brn’m? She’s beautiful,
that natural beauty no one gets
from early nights, being dutiful,
restricting drink and cigarettes.

No Smoking. But she still lights up
and no one says a word. May be
that gang she left are partying on.
She’s for the next, the fastest, free.

It’s out there somewhere, hot and loud.
Her party: it’s the place to go.
24/7, the usual crowd.
Ssshh trine fu Brn’m? We do not know.

Last edited by Jayne Osborn; 10-02-2010 at 09:43 AM. Reason: Added Bazza to the club of LitRev winners
Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2010, 07:13 PM
Orwn Acra's Avatar
Orwn Acra Orwn Acra is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,889

Very "Myfanwy at Oxford", John.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2010, 07:35 PM
Maryann Corbett's Avatar
Maryann Corbett Maryann Corbett is offline
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 9,563

Love the internal rhymes, John.
Jayne, thanks for posting, congrats again to you too, and I wonder if perhaps the drunk-speak means "Is this the train for Branham?" or similar name.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2010, 08:10 PM
Janice D. Soderling's Avatar
Janice D. Soderling Janice D. Soderling is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 14,191

Way to go, John and Jayne. Yahoo!
Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2010, 09:42 PM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,951

Drusilla was, and I hope, still is, a real person. She opened the batting for Oxford (Ladies of course). I played squash with her regularly but that, ALAS, was as far as it got.

'Gate' and 'gait' are OK rhymes if you are Chaucer but not now I think. I can't think how you would mend it. This month's challenge looks quite good. I look at my face in the hairdresser's mirror and rapidly take off my glasses so that it blurs. It looks better blurry.

'My mountain belly and my craggy face' says Ben Jonson. Well, he was fatter than me, but his verses were better. Here's something. It's an old thing reworked, but then, so was Drusilla.

Self Portrait

I like old things, and now I’m old I should
Be one of the old things I like to like.
I’ll take up archery. I’ll buy a bike.
Like hell. Since when was wishing any good?
Nothing can turn me into Robin Hood,
Hard pedalling brings my muscles out on strike,
I file good resolutions on the spike,
My promises collapse like rotten wood.
I could reread the whole of Kingsley Amis,
But Sky is showing cricket wall to wall.
I could write winning verses and be famous
Like Shakespeare or like Philip or like Seamus.
When I was young I wanted to be tall.
It isn’t any bloody good at all.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2010, 11:44 PM
Julie Steiner's Avatar
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 5,483

Last month, John said:
It has to be admtted that the same few names seem to win here - you were a welcome exception, Jayne. Who IS this Nick Syrett? Anyone know? Never turns up anywhere ELSE. Ditto Ian Colley. Any info?
Hmmm, I think Iain Colley is starting to look Spherical!
Congrats to him and John this month!

Last edited by Julie Steiner; 10-01-2010 at 11:46 PM.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2010, 12:25 AM
Martin Elster Martin Elster is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 5,551

Originally Posted by Julie Stoner View Post
Hmmm, I think Iain Colley is starting to look Spherical!
Congrats to him and John this month!
Ah, no wonder I thought I'd seen that poem before! I didn't imagine it, after all. Congrats Basil. And you, too, John. And Jayne, too, of course!


Last edited by Martin Elster; 10-02-2010 at 12:27 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2010, 04:43 AM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,951

Aha! And Nick Syrett is Bill Greenwell, then. Congrats, Bazza. Yours is - just - better than mine.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2010, 07:28 AM
basil ransome-davies's Avatar
basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is online now
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: lancashire
Posts: 923
Default yippee!

Well done, John, & thanks for the magnanimous compliment. Self-portrait, eh? A nice one for us narcissists.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2010, 08:29 AM
Jayne Osborn's Avatar
Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Middle England
Posts: 5,634

Well...Bazza - you little devil, you!

Which one is the real you - Basil Ransome-Davies, Iain Colley or even A N Other...?

Congratulations to all of you, anyway!!! You're a legend, mate.

And well spotted, eagle-eyed Julie.
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right

Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 7,932
Total Threads: 19,557
Total Posts: 252,789
There are 323 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right

Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online