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  #11  
Unread 02-11-2019, 10:11 AM
Andrew Szilvasy Andrew Szilvasy is offline
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Aaron,

I like the fix myself. It makes me think of some of those boring 70s or 80s buildings, or even a brutalist design.

I also like the way it undercuts the reader's expectation there. I think it's nicely done.
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  #12  
Unread 02-11-2019, 10:21 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
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Martin: The problem with concrete is that it suggests a bunker, but the section with the hurricane suggests big windows.

Good catch Martin. I had liked concrete before you pointed that out. Though the mere mention of broken glass in the previous installment (is "installment" the right word? Sorry if I'm misstating) does not necessarily preclude using "concrete". I don't equate "concrete" with "windowless".
Since this is being presented in installments it's sometimes difficult to catch things like that.
Now I don't know if concrete works. How about "vanilla"? No not the flavor..
x
x
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  #13  
Unread 02-11-2019, 11:02 AM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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There’s something about S3 L8 that I like, even though it reminds me of the Drones Club that Bertie Wooster belonged to in the Jeeves stories by P. G. Wodehouse.
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  #14  
Unread 02-11-2019, 11:25 AM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Martin, I see your point. Hmn. Here is a link to the actual building I am describing. "nondescript" strikes me as the mot juste: https://www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en...cYpCmIzB6-1wVw

Any suggestions? I am feeling lazy today.

Thank you, Allen. Wodehouse is The Master.
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  #15  
Unread 02-11-2019, 01:12 PM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Well, it is not accurate, but "glassy" would work as a set up. More accurate would be "blocky", which puns on its size. For random fun, perhaps "prismatic" to match the meter of "nondescript", though the sense is opposite. Maybe "brick-and-glass" or "brick-glass"?

I am sure you'll come up with something better, but these might stimulate your imagination.

Best,
Martin
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  #16  
Unread 02-11-2019, 01:32 PM
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Orwn Acra Orwn Acra is offline
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The problem with very concrete (and I do like the way you are using very) is that it suggests brutalism, as Andrew says, but brutalism is, imnho, not at all boring. The real life architecture of Varick and Houston is what might be called neoliberal architecture (not my term): a mind-numbing window and brick combo that, like neoliberalism itself, obscures the border between commercial and residential so that at home you are working and work is home. They are not concrete.

A more interesting question is what kind of building would house Cyber Defense? I imagine the utterly horrifying AT&T Long Lines Building in FiDi, straight out of 1984:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/33_Thomas_Street
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  #17  
Unread 02-11-2019, 01:43 PM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Hi Aaron,
"very/average" has nice sonics.

Martin
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  #18  
Unread 02-11-2019, 05:10 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you, gentlemen. You have persuaded me that "concrete" is not quite right.

Cast your votes--1, 2 or 3. (I think I prefer 3):

1
A half click south of you, where Varick Street
meets Houston, there are bollards and a very
taciturn office-building that contains
Homeland Security’s new subsidiary,
Cyber Defense.

2
A half click south of you, where Varick Street
meets Houston, there are bollards and a very
reticent office-building that contains
Homeland Security’s new subsidiary,
Cyber Defense.

3
A half click south of you, where Varick Street
meets Houston, there are bollards and a very
tight-lipped office-building that contains
Homeland Security’s new subsidiary,
Cyber Defense.
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  #19  
Unread 02-11-2019, 05:55 PM
Martin Rocek's Avatar
Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Yes, 3; tight-lipped has the right tone.
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  #20  
Unread 02-11-2019, 08:51 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
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Thank you, Martin.

"very/tight-lipped" it is.
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