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06-24-2009, 11:29 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 7,563
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Whitworth
Martin, that last one is a winner, in my opinion. Get it IN!
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Thank you, John. I'll send it in today.
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06-24-2009, 11:35 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 7,563
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandra Oliver
Martin, I do love your piece; at the beginning the metre threw me, but now I've read it aloud a few times and find it to have a kind of operetta charm. Well done! With all this good stuff coming at me, I feel very cowed. It's great to learn from other people.
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Thanks, Alexandra!
I love your poem, too. It's clever and funny. I like the end of the first version better.
Best,
Martin
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06-24-2009, 11:47 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 7,563
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Alternate last stanza. I thought hopping on the trolley would be more city-like than hopping in one's Honda.
In the City
I don’t long for a glimpse of a pheasant,
or the scent of cow pies like a peasant.
I reside in a marvelous city at present.
And guess what: it is far from unpleasant.
There are Laundromats plenty for clothes,
and restaurants plenty for those
occasions I don’t feel like cooking (God knows
it’s most of the time), and the shows
at the theaters and movies all over
are more thrilling than strolling through clover.
It’s exiting to cross busy roads with my Rover;
there’s the likelihood we’ll get run over.
While you farmers can fret that your crop
of corn will be lost, I’ll just hop
on the trolley and stop at the big Stop & Shop
for some corn chips and cold soda pop.
(Or I could say "subway" instead of "trolley.")
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06-24-2009, 12:57 PM
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Distinguished Guest
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
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Yeah Martin, good one. It's not easy to come up with a Rover rhyme that's not doggerel!
Bob, LOL. Trust you to come up with "sushi/tooshie"! I guess it was just a matter of time. (I seem to recall awarding you the Gluteus Maximus Award for that Villon extravaganza we had some time ago.)
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06-24-2009, 01:19 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 7,563
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marion Shore
Yeah Martin, good one. It's not easy to come up with a Rover rhyme that's not doggerel!
Bob, LOL. Trust you to come up with "sushi/tooshie"! I guess it was just a matter of time. (I seem to recall awarding you the Gluteus Maximus Award for that Villon extravaganza we had some time ago.)
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Yeah, Bob! Quite clever that one.
Marion, thanks for the nice words about the Rover rhyme. Although it's not doggerel, I'm wondering if the identical rhyme of over/over is unacceptable. But there are just not enough "over" rhymes in the English language.
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